Wednesday, April 13, 2005

soap and water

ever notice how when you're needing a shower you feel worse about everything? You don't look great. . you might even smell bad. Do you sometimes get up and you are pressed for time and don't have the chance to get your shower in, and isn't your whole day just not quite as good, cuz you're feeling icky? Do you ever feel less attractive when your hair isn't fresh and you didn't have your Zestfully clean experience? Do you even have less confidence when you're not fresh? And you can BET that on the day you look rumpled and greasy, THAT is the day you will run into people you know! Why is it that? You're having a break out, or you have an unsightly mark on your face -- THAT'S when someone comes to your door and wants to visit with you!!! ahhhhh!!!! You can be sure that when you feel your grossest, slimiest, UGLIEST. . . that's when you'll be looked at!!! You never run into ppl when you have a GREAT hair day! nobody sees that except you -- or maybe your cat? Who sees you when you feel confident and look fabulous?!!! Nobody!!! WHY???!!!!

The shower, the bath. . . ahhhhh, its almost a spiritual thing!! warm water. . .ahhhhh. . . fragrant soap. . .. waking you up. . making you feel human again! restoring your dignity! shampoo.. massing your scalp with that billowy lather. . nothing nicer. If you're a 'smell' person you will love your shower more than the average person - cuz you'll be in 'smell Heaven'!!!

You know, i think one of the best sermons i ever heard in any church was about comparing what its like to be forgiven of all the bad stuff you've ever done in your life to having a shower when you're filthy and having all your grime rinsed off your body -- very cool. That was said 30 years ago and I still remember it!! why? cuz i could RELATE!! who can't relate?? there's nothing like being clean.

I've always hated baths!!! well okay not ALWAYS. . I remember when I was a little kid. . .i was made to take baths, esp. Sat. night - cuz Sunday morning was sunday school and church. . blah.. anyway, back to the bath. I got to bathe alone, cuz i was the oldest! my younger sisters had to share a tub- ha ha! I LOVED my bath then !!! I'd play around, try to get a whirlpool thing happening. .pretend i was swimming, i'd submerge and hold my breath, let my hair kinda float out behind me, like billowing seaweed in the ocean current. . i'd sit up and put my wet washcloth on my head and pretend it was 'hair'. i'd float the soap. .i LOVE soap. One day I saw an Irish Spring commercial on TV where this really macho guy in a fisherman's cable sweater took a pocket knife and deftly peeled a hunk of soap off of the Irish Spring bar, to reveal the stripes !!! Then this lady would run up to him grab the soap and coo "Manly, yes, but I like it too!" So, yeah, i had to try that trick with a butter knife out of the kitchen drawer. . but i wasn't nearly so good at it and i made a huge mess on the floor and destroyed my dad's soap and my mother yelled "What on EARTH are you doing?!" One memorable tub time I lathered up my hands with soap and decided to wash my eyes. . . wow, that was idiotic. the stinging was unbelievable! soap on the bare eyeballs! kids are dumb. what can i say? Anyway, i used to view the bath tub as a watery playground. . i'd give my dolls a shower under the tap.. . i'd sing, i'd wash my stupid eyeballs, i'd pretend to be a nun or a mermaid. . But ONE DAY I became aware of soap scummy dirt in the water!!!! i tried to splash it away from where i was sitting. . it would come right back again. . i sat at the very back of the tub hoping to keep my distance, that didn't work. I stood up, screaming! "There's dirt in the water!" I never played in the tub again.. i was too young for showers so i became the 3 minute bath child!!! no more whirlpools or eye washing. In and out, Bob's your uncle. Every parent's dream, eh?! I can't remember the last time I took a bath!!! the THOUGHT of soaking in my own filth. . . *shudder!*


supersimbo said...

wow...........your mind is.............all over the place!!lol
and i thought you were a regular canadian mum! lol

Sherri Lavender said...

Ever think about showering and then immediately filling the tub for a soak? You'd be clean!!!!!?!?!?

Must go wash eyes with soap...


Lindsay said...

I always feel really gross before I have a shower in the morning, too. It almost feels like you have a fine layer of grease all over you!

Kathryn said...

yeah, Sherri i suppose i could do that. . would def. solve my 'dirt in the water' phobia! but i gotta pay $$ for my household water!!!