Sunday, December 31, 2006

2 bags full of books

It was the best feeling to approach the cashier at Chapters, hand her my carefully-chosen book selections - which totaled just over $100. . . use my gift cards and my membership discount card, combine those with sale reductions and pay just $10!!!!! Yes, I walked out of Chapters with 2 heavy bags -- i was so happy!

I went to get this one above all else: "Feast", Nigella Lawson (a fabulously decadent, inspirational cook book). The rest --well, i let them choose me!

"Sun" Observer's Guide *Firefly Books Pam Spence *-- what a cool book. . .on the cover of which is pictured a blistering golden photo of the star which keeps us all alive. . fascinating!

"The Best Life Diet" *Bob Greene*. . . . i love to read up on nutritional facts . . physiology, chemistry, etc. I've always had an interest. "Diet" books also contain amazing recipes! I really wanted to read all about emotional eating, etc. . and the secret to burning off and keeping off lost body fat, which i've always found to be a sticking point in my life. The last thing i want is to spend my years weighing food, measuring it, counting 'points', calories or servings. . i want to enjoy life, not be enslaved by all of the 'diet culture' in my continent. . to find a way to sensibly and permanently enjoy food as the fabulous fuel it is, and to move and keep moving. . . to bring those 2 important elements together -- food and fitness.

"Living to Tell the Tale" *Gabriel Garcia Marquez *he's long been one of my favourite authors. . . so finding this initial book in the triology that will comprise his life's story, that was a happy find!

"Honeymoon with My Brother" *Franz Wisner* ( I saw this guy on Oprah a while back. . . jilted almost at the altar and determined not to waste the celebration or the honeymoon -- talk about a glass half full kind of person!!!!) He partied with family, friends and then took his brother away on a vacation -- which turned into a 2-year trek through 53 countries -- well, i couldn't not buy this one!

"Caught in the Web of Words" *K.M. Elisabeth Murray *-- "A magnificent story of a magnificent man, one of the finest biographies of the twentieth century." says Anthony Burgess on the front cover of this promising history of the life of James Murray - Lexicographer and one of the main contributors of the Oxford English Dictionary. I had to get this. . . anyone who has read the dictionary for fun would be positively disloyal if they didn't! I was drawn to the title. . of the many pleasant webs to be caught in, i think a web of words would be very beautiful.

"Acquainted with the Night -- Excursions Through the World After Dark" *Christopher Dewdney *A Canadian author. . gotta support the homeland people! This is a beautifully bipolar book . . . . on the one hand I am reading some of the most sumptuously descriptive stuff i've come across lately, and on the other hand, i feel as if i'm reading several other kinds of books all tossed in . . . scientific facts journal, meteorology resource, poetry sampler, historical tidbit primer -- this book is unlike anything i think i've ever read. The way this man can describe a sunset -- he's got a magical mind. His description of night fall alone is worth the purchase price. This man has such a romantic view of night and all that it contains. . . i've long shared this view of the gloriousness of the dark hours for so many reasons -- stillness, beauty, rest, sleep -- a good nighthawk would definitely love to read this. . but all the day 'larks' would still very much appreciate this one too, i think?! Yes, I'm sure!

Here's a sample of the 'sunset' gorgeousness i was talking about. . .

"The most consistently brilliant sunsets I've seen have been over water, and the best of those were off the west coast of Saint Lucia, in the Leeward Antilles. Many of them rivaled fireworks, the colours were that brilliant. The St. Lucian sunsets consistently filled half the dome of the sky with atmospheric masterworks. Often they were so complex they were like universes of detail that might take a thousand years to explore. Some evenings the sky resembled a vast surrealist hallucination drenched with pigment, while on other nights the clouds seemed to explode into flames directly overhead. They were utterly glorious, celestial pyrotechnics. If that weren't enough, the sunsets were almost invariably accented with whimsical, sometimes unbelievable touches; a trio of small electric-orange clouds shaped like waves, for instance, or a grid-like archipelago of fluorescent crimson cloudlets set against a pale, lost blue sky above a moody mountainscape of lavender clouds. The sunsets always started the same way . . long, horizontal bands of frothy, mother-of-pearl-coloured clouds would build above the western horizon when the sun sank toward the ocean. As the sunset progressed, these bands would light up like pink flames against the opalescent blue sky. Floating under the bands, just above the ocean, were armadas of purple cumulus clouds, sailing with the trade wind. . . .

the pink edges of the banded clouds would turn cerise, then red, then the red would deepen like wildfire into a lava filigree of incandescent lacework. . .

. . . was more like looking at the the immense, stained-glass dome of a cosmic cathedral. . . "

Now doesn't that make you want to visit Saint Lucia?! Imagine being able to casually say in conversation: "Yeah, i think the best sunsets in the world are the ones in the Leeward Antilles." BAH!!!! I could never imagine saying such a thing to anyone. I'd be too afraid of sounding pretentious!! No fears on that score.

Well, fellow babies, I must get some rest. . .cuz its so late at night, its now morning and New Year's Eve morning at that. . ooooh, the excitement of it all!!!!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

thinking about Christ

I was lying in bed last night thinking, like i usually do when i lie in bed. Rob was upset over having to buy 4 new tires for the van at such a financially difficult time of year, so he had already gone up to bed, to forget about it for a few hours. Strangely enough, i didn't seem bummed over parting with several hundred dollars just like that. . it'll probably hit me later!!

I was more reflective, not too sleepy. I've been caught up in preparations for Christmas gifting and feasting -- organizing things with drill sargeant precision -- which has paid off in dividends of a type of serenity, a sense of 'staying on top of things' and not feeling pressurized, wheedled, nagged or otherwise manipulated by the monstrous retail advertising/marketing machine. . I even learned to try to say 'no' to the 'busy woman at Christmas voice' which expects me to multitask to the extreme in every way imaginable. If you're a man, let me explain things. . 'the voice' is essential for every woman, especially at Christmas. . The voice can be a helpful reminder : ' make your lists', 'start early', 'try catalogues/ online sources', 'get to the store the day the flyer comes out', ' 'think of your people and of what they've told you throughout the year.. . write these thoughts down & keep them in your wallet', 'stay on top of your house work so you're not overwhelmed', 'ask for help', 'think of the Christmas donations and take care of them'. The voice will talk to you when you're quiet. . asking you "Have you taken care of all the details?", "What's left to do?", "What are you going to do tomorrow?" This is what its like.

So, when i lie down every night, i have to tell the voice to stop. . it would keep me up if i let it. Sometimes i think back to my girlish, prewoman days, especially at Christmas time and i imagine how it would feel to just to take everything as it comes to me, gifts, food, every other kind of good thing. . not doing, not preparing, just receiving. . . ahhh. . . what a dim memory !!!

Is that what its like to be a man at Christmas?! BAH!!! *sorry to take a potshot at you, guys!* I'm half teasing, i think?! heh heh. . .

Last night i thought about all this stuff as i sighed it all out . . . and then i thought about Jesus. I immediately felt bad for letting my inner voice drown out his voice - which is not just a Christmas time occurrence. . I felt even worse about letting myself be a cog in the "North American Christmas Machine". . i try to resist, but to some extent i always find myself in it.

I looked out the windows as i lay there. . the darkness was quiet, almost felt like it had weight. . . i could see the heavy clouds' outline against the dark sky. . . and my thoughts of him increased. I wondered about him and wondered how could he do what he did? -- trade universal supremacy for helpless infancy? volunteer to give up unbounded, unlimited authority. . . for hunger, pain, sickness, fatigue, limitations, unjust punishment, hatred and execution? How is it possible that he was able to say 'yes' to such a deal?( knowing in advance what would be required of him? ) and with no guarantee that the very people He did this for would love him, like him or regard him? I wondered about my human nature. . what was it about that nature that Jesus needed to go through all that? Why am i so self-centered? why am i so rebellious. . either subtly or bold facedly? Why am i bad? Why do i think i know so much? It occurred to me that on my own, without any Christ, any Redeemer or Messiah, without the manger crib and its famous baby occupant and without all that he grew to accomplish, who am i? Why do i aspire to be this or do that? Why am i so hell bent on charting my own path, doing my own thing? Why have i wanted to live without Jesus? Why have i ever in my entire life wanted to keep Christmas about everything but Christ? toys. . candy, the Sears WishBook, clothes, trinkets, money, overeating, watching the grinch, rudolph, frosty. . obsessing about being 'good' so Santa would come through with the goods. . and now the whole attempting to pulling off a Martha Stewart every year if it kills me! When i'm quiet with my mind turned off to all fruitcake, cheesy music and rampant consumption, and on this curious kind of love shown by Jesus, this puzzling, dazzling love . . . i feel like i've been in a mess of my own independence . I am an independent mess. . too often choosing independence from the Saviour who loves me to the point of death, independent from his extended hand, independent from his counsel, substituting mine, the world's. . . independent from his will. . . believing that i can drift in and out of it whenever the whim suits me. . . how can i make such a mess? be such a mess? I can and I do and i often am . and i'm ashamed when that happens. I love moments like this when i understand a bit of the largeness of the love of Christ. I feel like my own love that i feel and give is so often small and too often tainted with selfish toxins and impurities. . but to think of availing myself of the LOVE of Jesus at Christmas, I feel like i can only say to him. . words from that old Sam and Dave song: "You didn't have to love me like you did, but you did, yes you did, and i thank you." I wish for you some of your own reflective moments in the next couple of days. . much love to you, from me. .

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Happy Christmas

I love the message in this first picture. . .
Happy Christmas, everyone ! God bless.

love, from me to you.

 Posted by Picasa

Friday, December 15, 2006

i love these pics

KK having a guitar lesson from her Dad. . i love that our house is often filled with live music. Someone's always playing something. . . piano, guitar, cornet, drums, keyboard - practice, jamming, personal enjoyment -- music is so essential.

Rob took this picture on one of his many Fri. night trips to get KK from school. Someone cool always defaces this highway sign. . and the works crews are always replacing them. They never read "Rockton" for long. Yes its vandalism - but as we all say "The sign begs for it!"

Robbie leaning against "Shifty". . . beauty.

last, but definitely not least. . Maggie wearing her "Santa's Little Helper" bandana. . looking like the epitome of canine Christmas cutness. I can never refrain from scooping her up in my arms and kissing her little head. No matter how often she pees on the floor at night, or barks crazily when i wish she'd shut up -- i can never stay mad at her. Posted by Picasa

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Christmas Party!!!!!

Here's Robbie!!!!! I love blue on him. . brings out his eyes. . This was our staff Christmas partee. . and was it ever awesome!!!!

This is Robbie's date for the evening. . . . me! This is "Kathryn". . . . Kathy doesn't usually look like that! lol!!!

We had a beautiful hall in which to dance the night away, which we DID!!! It was the MOST awesome dance i've ever been to!! Didn't even try to dance in my shoes. . . stocking feet baby. . . . . Robbie twirled me around until i was dizzy. YAY!!!

Here's our table. . . .From the left:
Rob, John, Sylvia, Ellie, Allan, John and Karen. . .

Guys, that was a fabulous night! So glad to share it with you all!! Posted by Picasa

Saturday, December 02, 2006

whatever happened to the word "handsome"?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've noticed a fair bit of change in the world since the early 60s, but the particular thing that is on my mind tonight is the way North Americans have changed culturally in the last several decades.

If you watch old movies, if you've watched vintage TV sitcoms or variety shows, i'm sure you know what I mean when i say that I think we've lost something.

I don't really wish to go back to an era in which women were thought of as 'housewives' as if they said their "I dos" to a house, nor to a time when women were called "the little woman". *that term could never apply to me no matter what era I'd live in!!! perhaps when i was 3?* I don't want to think of a world in which "Father Knows Best" cuz let's face it, he doesn't always and neither does Mom! I wouldn't like to see stereotypes of that era remain. . or any era for that matter. But what I wish is just for a little class. . you know? A time before reality tv's incestuous slugfests a la JerrySpringer, or the ridiculously salacious weirdness of "A Surreal Life", a time before the words: 'hot', 'smokin', 'sucks', 'slammin', 'blows', 'ho', 'pimp'. A time when women were 'beautiful', 'graceful', 'lovely' and men were 'handsome', 'suave', 'debonair'. Is there any such thing as feminine mystique anymore? Everything is on display - physically, verbally -- no restraint, no one is demure -- even kids clothing is shrunken down versions of whatever adult fashions are trendy, really disturbing! Not to be cliche, but is chivalry dead? Do we even want men to be chivalrous? Do they want this?. . . and their clothing. . metrosexuals and gay men have a pretty awesome style sense, but there are many guys out there shlumping around in t-shirts, jeans all the time, or they look like they're going hunting, or they're dressing and talking like rappers, when they're not! It drives me crazy when people say things like "That's how i roll". I'm not really wanting to regress in any way. .don't want us all to be buttoned down and uptight, but I feel like we have collectively lost some of our sophistication.

I remember regularly wearing dresses with crinolines as a little girl, with patent shoes for birthday parties, cotton dresses with runners for play, I wore white gloves to church and carried a little handbag. I wore hats on special occasions like Easter. People used to dress up. Things were tucked in (but i'm SO not a fan of tucking!!!). Shoes were buffed and polished. People talked differently to each other. There was more respect in our terminology. . . "Sir", "Ma'am", "Master", "Miss", I was never permitted to address an elder by their first name. . i mean NEVER! We would 'call on' our friends, knocking and asking permission from their parents for our friends to 'come out'. We wrote thank-you notes. We RSVP'd. Commerce was different -- service was the rule, not the exception. Food was different. People were slimmer, yet there was no 'low fat' or 'low carb' talk. . butter, full fat milk was in every kitchen. Portions were smaller. The family table was sacred and abundant. Seasons dictated our diet. People had to 'put up' or 'can', preserve. There was no waste. Even a cup of tea was a different thing. . it used to involve china cups, sugar cubes in silver bowls, which you removed with sugartongs, 'tea sandwiches' (crustless, work of art, inventive sandwiches), tea biscuits (cookies). An after-church 'tea' was one of these amazing, formal occasions. Now, if you want a cup of tea, you just get an earthenware mug, put you tea in it and sit in your track pants curled up in your chair -- WAY more comfy,? YES! But missing something. . . a sense of occasion, specialness.

It used to be that people could be shocked. People still blushed. Dirty laundry wasn't aired so much. . society wasn't so hypersexualized, nor was it so disturbingly desensitized to violence. I know that we can't turn the clock back.. .and i wouldn't think that would be so great, because all the gains we have made would be reversed. . . but couldn't we bring back some of the class, modesty, innocence ? I get so sick of everything and everyone being described as 'hot'. Even Listerine mouthwash has a ridiculous spokeswoman describing herself as a "hot woman" who wants to keep her teeth ". . looking their whitest, brightest and hottest" Whaaaa??? Can teeth even BE hot? They can look nice, but come on!! I get so tired of seeing "Warning, this program may contain scenes of . . . . . . . ." preceding every television show. I grow weary of seeing how much power we ascribe to celebrities. . . Oprah, Dr. Phil, et al, wanting them to be our collective saviours. Society seems so depraved sometimes. I know this is "nothing new under the sun"!! Still, it all gets to me -- you know?

I know that people will continue to change -- that's one thing sure. But wouldn't it be nice to have a little bit of classy change? Some positive change? Some righteous, peaceful change? Some beautiful, spiritual change? Some sense of the sacred, the special. . of treasuring and revering. . And I know its a little thing, but how about this change?. . men and women would no longer be deemed 'hot', rather they would be beautiful and handsome. . .

Monday, November 27, 2006


Isn't it true that when you look for one thing, you often find other things you didn't even know were missing until you rediscovered them?

As usual, we cram everything we can into our days off work - like everyone else on the planet! Saturday was quite the run errands, get all the stuff done you've been procrastinating waaay too long kind of day! It felt good to clear out so much clutter, dispose of some, rearrange some more and have a real sense of accomplishment. I feel more together now, bills are paid, closets are cleaned out, ditto for cupboards, entire rooms too!!! Rob took a sledge hammer to an old, cement double laundry tub. It was original to this early 1950s home and he had envisioned a use for it once upon a time. Well that time never came and though it stored vertically and acted as a strange, makeshift shelving unit, it was a huge annoyance for me and once in a while i'd start in on how i wanted that ugly lump of a thing GONE!!! I got my wish yesterday!!! yeeeee hawww!!! I have SO much room my in the laundry room. I pinch myself every time i step in there! While Rob was hammering away at that, i was up to my elbows in tissue paper, gift bags, seasonal decorations and a bunch of really, really odd things. . . . a plastic 'singing' flower *don't ask!* a rainbow light bulb, 2 pair of cheap swim goggles, some gigantic clam shells from one of our trips, old sheet music, ironing that is waiting to be ironed pffffttttt, like i'm gonna do it!!!, a desk top fan, some egg crate foam, a paper star with my oldest daughter's written name, surrounded by lots of little stick-on stars, a crazy eyeball necklace stone (with no chain). This kind of stuff makes me crazy.

All the spontaneous purging came about because i had been so ahead of myself with my Christmas shopping. . that i'd forgotten some of the locations of my various stashes!!! It took me a few hours, but i eventually did find the 2 small things i had wanted to find. Do you guys do the same thing? You start on one task, which kinda branches off and you follow up on a another sub task, at which time you then do a sub sub task. . well, you get the picture. This is how i work. I get so easily sidetracked. . . don't give me a job sorting through anything sentimental, cuz tasks go right out the window and i go right down memory lane, and there's certainly kleenex involved. Rob doesn't get that. . he just does one thing until it is done. This is something i admire greatly, but cannot do!!!! heh heh. . . oh well!

He gets sentimental these days with his 2 'babies'. . our van and HIS new truck. . . which, between Rob and our youngest daughter, KK has been dubbed "Shifty McDodge". . . *yes, its a standard* They're both getting after me cuz i haven't driven it it. . . maybe i'm a bit rusty with a stick, but i know i can do it. . just like riding a bike? (except with a clutch). I'd better take it out for a spin soon, get those 2 off my back! Anyway, on one of my subtasks I happened to glance out the kitchen window to see Rob in the driveway, smiling away, hosing and scrubbing up those 2 vehicles. (I called KK to the window and said to her. . "Look at your Dad!" We LAUGHED!!! He looked very 'man' happy. . you know that man thing with vehicles being more than vehicles. . they have names, personalities -- he's not really extreme like some guys who wash and Armour-All their tires. . . but he loves them significantly more than i do. *makes me smile at the difference between men and women!*

It's been a great weekend. .all that organization, gorgeously warm weather, family dinner, making cookies with the grandkids, market jaunt and musical fun thrown in the mix too!!! but it's 1:10 a.m. now, I have work in das morgen. . . and i'm kinda pooped - gute nacht, meine kinder!!! this is me, signing off -- over and o u t !!!!!

Monday, November 20, 2006

sensitized, saturated

I had such a day on Sunday. It was a day of love. Every activity, every word, every touch was a little brush with love, so many small chances for me to repeatedly feel how real love is. A lot of days go by without this kind of impact. I guess those days i'm more numb to it, i take it for granted. Its almost impossible to really analyze how things work together to make me pay attention and teach me something i thought i already knew. Of course i know about love. Of course i love people, i love God, i love my dog, i love lots of things. Sunday was just one of those beautiful love-saturated days. I started it off by listening to message about prayer, then things just rolled on from there -- a big family feast preceded by days of thought and preparation, hugs, kisses, reunion, departure. There was playing music and singing for others, travel, coming home and watching an achingly sad family story on tv. . . All I could think was lovelovelovelovelove as i used tissue after tissue to wipe away my tears at the close of the day; watching the story of a wife who lost her best love and friend. It just all hit me. I guess the day's memories and people and words were all in my mind as i sat in the dark with my own best friend and sweetheart and watched this 5-week-in widow and her 4 children, their grief so fresh on camera. . the images of them with their dad and husband before his death. . I could not stop crying. . i couldn't believe how broken i felt. I didn't think i could stand it. Thankfully the story ended before i dissolved!

Yes, the story ended and the day was ending too. . but my thoughts kept going. I could not stop thinking of how beautiful everything is because of love. I felt unusually sensitized and tuned in. I knew it wouldn't last, but i savoured it. As all of this settled in I felt an almost desperate awareness of the importance of love in life. It welled up and over, breaching the walls of my heart to fill my spirit. Love everywhere. . in my house, my grandchildren's handprints on the landing window that i can't bring myself to clean, their childish scribbles on the message chalkboard in the kitchen, the door jamb in the bathroom notched with dates, heights - my girls growing up. . photographs of their babyhood, their school years, little dresses and shoes in keepsake boxes, clumsy, beautiful little gifts from them, my now-dessicated first corsage from Rob, love letters. Love then and love today in the lingering smells of a happy dinner, love in the echoes of music in my mind, love in the thoughts about praying and God longing to hear me speak to him. Love in hellos and goodbyes, love in warm hugs and kisses, love in loss and tragedy. Love in everything, love everywhere.

Its too powerful to be a mere emotion, its too personal to be impersonal, too beautiful to be some random, roaming force that decided to settle in our collective bosom. . and too pure to have its origins in us. Even in its absence - even in dark hatred, love's absence is a gnawing, gaping hole. Is there anything else like this? All of this weightiness seemed to settle over me on Sunday. It seemed almost unbearable, but at the same time the heaviness did not feel crushing. It was more like it held me to the truth of Love, like a balloon weight holds down a helium balloon that untethered, would glibly float and never remain grounded.

On Monday i didn't feel this way. The weekday had begun to crowd in with all its demands and deadlines, its chores and busyness. Still, even in the mundane i know that there is no less love, not an ounce less. . .

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


i love to create. my creativity runs along certain tracks, which is, i guess, what makes the creative force within me specifically mine. i love how this is true for everyone, whether they think that they are 'creative' or not -- they are.

i'll share some of my thoughts, if you'll share some of yours. . . okay?

I love to be in the kitchen. I feel very natural there. . like its my place, my thing. My childhood sandbox was an imaginary diner, i had lots of pretend customers. My Easybake oven was my first experience with heat and my sisters were my guinea pigs, when it came to my learning how to make actual meals. . . God bless them, they survived!!!

For me, my kitchen is a place to bring what nature provides in and then create with these provisions to give to others. It makes me happy. I feel joy. I never think of creating something in the kitchen as a 'chore', i never view cooking or handling food as a task - i think of it as a sensory experience and a chance to give. Physical food is life and treating that food with respect and care is a great thing. When i think of all the wonderful things there are to add to food and do with food - i find myself totally inspired. Why settle for something to just fill the hunger gap, when i can incorporate the best and freshest ingredients to create layers of flavour, and texture and colour. I love the sounds and smells of working with food, i love the challenge of mastering a technique, teaching myself, experimenting. I think about creating things all the time. I look at the raw components and think "What can I make with this?" This is one part of my life that never switches off. that's what i've wanted to say about creativity. . . . when you have things that so interest you and engage you -- you couldn't switch them off if you tried, that's something you're meant to do!

Another thing that's always been with me is an undying love for words. I don't like them, i don't think they're okay. . . i really love them. I can't remember a time in my life when i didn't. I can express myself verbally to a degree, but i feel like when i write there is nothing i can't say. I've gone from stories in grade 1 to blogging right now. . with so many stilted, bumbling, affected attempts at expressing myself in between. But its always seemed to me that the words forgave me if i didn't do them justice, which makes me appreciate them more. I've spent time writing when i feared that if i stopped the flow it wouldn't come back again. . i've had times when i felt a strong urge to pick up a pen and have been amazed with what spilled onto the page. I've learned not to force. I've learned about dry times and abundance. It makes me cringe when i look back on some of my stuff, but some of the more special things help to atone for the flops. I feel lucky if i can come up with a memorable phrase or 'the perfect sentence'. Its about being fearless and being okay going out there, knowing there's as much of a chance of screwing up as there is of making something wonderful. Creating is about being open, receiving all of life around and within and as those experiences mix with your personality and steep in your soul (emotions, will, mind) they come out as this creative energy. This process can't be rushed and can't be faked, though i've tried to do both with miserable results. Its all so mysterious and exciting!

i really love creating celebration in every day life. . i love to decorate and put thought into little, wonderful details that make the whole thing that much nicer. i love to shop for current or future festive occasions. . it really excites me when it all comes together and makes others feel good and happy. . i feel really fulfilled.

i'm trying to understand that creativity is being able to integrate all the parts of my life that i might tend to compartmentalize. I think that i impede my creativity. Maybe i'm limiting the flow from what could be a surge to a mere trickle. . i get used to less and don't ache for more because i've settled and gotten apathetic. Switching off parts reduces the whole.

when i think of inspiration, there is just so much that can do this. some of the most basic things that inspire me would be just the material world itself -- the elements -- earth, water, air, fire. . i feel love within me when i look at the world, love for its maker, love for its beauty. i want to touch these things, photograph them, smell them, be in them. . (well, maybe not fire?!!!!) In these things I see God and feel his presence. I feel at home in water. . another long-time love in my life. . . water. . water. . how much more could i love water?! I have a lot of water dreams and depending on my psychological state at the time, the water can be raging, flowing or still, deep or shallow.

I'll stop there. . but I really would love to hear what some of your things are. . do you love to create? and if you do, what do you love to do with your own creative energy? How do you best express youself? What/who inspires you??!!! tell me!!!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

some great finds!!!!

All i set out for this morning was a walk downtown to the market and I ended up finding some fabulous, little things that made me so happy and these little things merged into even more happiness as the day went on, but i'll get to that. .

The sun was glorious today, made all the difference to my too-long-without-UV rays spirit. .
The tedious work week was behind, the freedom of Saturday was before me and that alone felt really great. On weekends my mind can be light. I get a break from the constant, daily bombardment of medical terminology. Being a medical scribe for my city puts me in a strange place. I literally handle people's distress, their heaviness and panic with my fingertips. If it could just stay in my fingers , but it soaks in and affects me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Weekends, I don't want to think. I throw off memories of accumulated sorrow and disease and trauma. Friday evenings, I crash. I know you're all probably the same. . the end of the week you're tired of routine, of job duties, tired of structure .. . am i right?

I like to sleep in a bit on Saturday mornings, then I get my walking music ready and i dress for the weather and go to the farmer's market. I love to have a 'soundtrack' playing. It elevates a walk to a whole different level. Now, if there was a place where you could put in your order for the ultimate autumn Saturday, this would be the day you would want. Chill, not cold. Clear, fair sky with just enough white cloud to please the eye, all the better to contrast the brilliant sun. I like to walk quickly, it gets the lead out and makes me feel alive. As i covered ground i noticed that some of the trees were still unwilling to part with their leaves, though enough fell for ambience and it wasn't lost on me. I rounded a corner and passed a huge, old mansion - slate gray trim, limestone block, dark and stately. Most of its landscaping was equally muted, with the exception of a large, ridiculously red bush - purest crimson. I could not stop staring, it made me feel so great.. .. and i wished so much that i had my camera to show someone. I hope that you can picture this anyway. This city has such beauty. I love the heritage buildings everywhere, almost like living in 2 centuries simultaneously.

Of course i had to stop on the bridge. The sun glinted off the water's surface, drawing attention to the swirling river below. Even though its a homely shade of brown I love to look at it, just because its water and it calms me. Another couple of blocks found me at the first market stall looking for something good and it wasn't long before i had bags of leeks, peppers, pears I bought a remembrance day poppy from a blue-uniformed cadet, purchased a giant Jonah Gold apple for Rob from a cute vendor who called me 'sweetheart' - which made me smile, though i put it down to the pink, girlie coat i was wearing and i headed indoors for some fresh buffalo mozarella and focaccia. That was enough for me. I had every intention of being good by avoiding the chocolate shop across the street. . but i think they have a tractor beam and i found myself there in under 2 minutes. I was slightly ashamed that my resolve was so crumbly, but the mint meltaways proved too powerful.

As I made the reverse trip i passed through the square in which 2 huge, old presbyterian churches bear architectural and geographical witness to a falling out of the nth degree. . . occupying land kittykorner to each other, the fractured congregation could remain a stone's throw, yet so far apart. It must have been so weird back when the split happened. Every time i see the spires, all i can think of is disunity and rivalry. Knowing their history, today I found it hilariously childish that each would have a competing fundraising bazaar on the same day, starting and ending at the same time. . I took a notion to attend the 'mother ship's sale and found some of the coolest, little bargains ever!!! salt and pepper shakers for 25 cents!! cool, wooden ones - i have been searching everywhere for some that i liked!! I found a gorgeous, antique-looking glass bowl for 75 cents!!! and some other items that i cannot say. . because they are Christmas gifts for my oldest daughter, who reads this blog!!!! All i'm gonna say is that they were insanely good bargains and they will make her very happy!!! (I even got some for myself, which thrilled me to no end, but which also must remain secret -- shhhhh!!!)

Just after I reached home with my bags of treasure, Rob and KK came home with great news -- our 9-month search for a second vehicle is over!!! We are proud almost owners of grey, 5-speed Dakota truck, to be picked up in just a few days. Glory be!!! Lindsay and the kiddies appeared on the scene just before we went to get the groceries - their timing was perfect! The full moon seems to make Erica extra feisty, at least that's her mom's theory!!! So, she was quite the little handful today - outdoor voice non stop. . oh, me nerves! The cherry on the top of this day would be Rob's blessed Leafs winning their game tonight. Hallelujah! We just spent a tense couple of hours watching MI III. . and what a slam-bang rollercoaster ride that was!!! Fantastic movie to end an especially great day. You never know what a day will bring, do you? But when it turns into an 'everything's comin' up roses' day that brings smiles and happiness - how great is that?! We all need those days once in a while and when they come along they're magic.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

More October Pics

Today is so dreary and drippy that I've decided to post some more pics of blue sky and warmth to cheer myself and maybe you (if you're having some icky weather where you are) This incessant grey and damp is getting to me! arrghh!!!!

Anyway, these are my 2 daughters. . .Lindsay, history buff, book worm, mom, on the left and Kalyn, music major, organizer, girlie girl on the right. They're so used to me documenting our trips they just reflexively go into pose formation. lol!

Robbie and the grandkiddies, posing in front of one of the classic cars. Don't ask me what this one is. . . Rob would know. It has some wicked chrome and perhaps fins? Cars then were sleek, mobile works of art. What happened?? Eri looks so animated in this shot! It was such a great day.

I adore cows, they're such tranquil beasts. When i look at them i can almost feel my blood pressure falling. They have beautiful eyes, fringed with outrageously lavish lashes. Can't believe that their bulk can be sustained by grasses & grains! Cows & pumpkins -- pretty much tied for first place in my affections. City girl didn't see enough crop or livestock in her earlier years?

James is having fun! He's such a speed freak, I'm surprised he didn't find this ride too wussy! The fair, up until the 'midway point' (the point at which the midway began!), was sheer torture for this kid. We sauntered through livestock competition areas and agricultural displays before we got to the fun zone. All the while he was as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof, exclaiming frequently and testily: "Can we go to the rides now? This is BORING!" Posted by Picasa

Thursday, October 26, 2006

October fun!

me, Mom and KK at the fair! Lindsay and James were lined up for the gigantic ferris wheel *see below!* Rob and Eri took our picture through the bars!

Eri's dejected cuz we ran out of tickets before she could go on the "honeybee ride'. . poor kiddo.

Lindsay and James are up there!!! look up . . . look waaaaaayy up!

Me and my beautiful girlies at The Cupcake Store! Back - Monika. Left - Donna. Middle -MaryLynn. Right -- me. We loved our treats! The Cupcake Lady let us behind the counter. . . ooooh!!!! Posted by Picasa

Sunday, October 22, 2006

i don't have a pumpkin

What kind of self-professed lover of pumpkins doesn't have one in late October?!!!

I'm ashamed to admit that I don't -- though this afternoon I passed a gigantic pumpkin patch - the kind of patch The Great Pumpkin would be proud to rise from! It's been pretty bleak and cloudy here the last couple of weeks solid. It's driving everybody bonkers. So, the sight of that shabby brown field dotted with happy, orange orbs. . . lifted my spirits. How can i say why i love them so much? The sight of them gives me joy. All the childhood memories of carving . . the smell of the pumpkin, the feel of the cold, stringy pulp. . drawing on the face with a marker, cutting out the triangle eyes and nose, slicing the wide grin on "Jack's" face. . the excitement of seeing him all lit up for duty on Halloween night!!! Roasting those seeds and crunching those salty nuggets. What a treat!

I used to have a plastic jack-o-lantern candy holder. . i loved that thing, its smiling face, its black handle. I loved the way my voice echoed when i yelled into it. Once I got older/more greedy i tossed my beloved pumpkin aside for a pillow case!! What a fondness I have for those round cuties. In school I loved story time in the fall. Naturally there would be stories about pumpkins!!! *this thrilled me to no end* I can still see the teacher sitting in her chair, while we sat cross legged on the floor at her feet. She turned the glossy book pages neatly and efficiently, after holding them open for just the right amount of time. Her voice was pleasant. The stories were seasonally magical. We sang this little French Halloween song , "La Citrouielle". I loved it, not because it was a particularly good song, but just cuz it was about a pumpkin! Not to mention that the memories it conjured were a far sight better than the mournful "Have You Seen The Ghost of John"? (long white bones with the skin all gone. . ick!)

This October has been the stinkiest, dreariest one in a long time. . and November. . it is so nasty that it just makes me wanna stick needles in my eyes. I think I need a SADD light?! Soooooo, yeah, I'm wishing i was lying on a warm beach somewhere where the sun is actually visible for longer than 1 hour, 1 day a week. I still hold out hope for some sunshine. Am I naive?! Nah, on second thought - don't tell me. .naive works for me now.

I haven't bought the Halloween candy yet. . cuz we'd just eat it all and then have to go out and buy more! Maybe if i was on the ball i would buy stuff we hate?! Gotta stop buying those chocolate bars!!!! they might be fun size in the wrapper. . but when they all get together to gang up on my body - there ain't nothing fun sized about that! When i was a kid and still had a metabolism, the chocolate bars were like 'gold'. . the more you got, the more successful your night was. The big mistake was sorting out the haul in front of your family. . cuz you just know they were doin' mental inventory!!!! You guarded your stash - in vain - everyone knew your hiding places. Ever wonder why when you got back from school your count was off? Oh, the memories. . and the cavities!!!

Fall. . . so much to celebrate --an extra hour of sleep!, harvest abundance, flame-red bushes, golden trees, rust-coloured leafy sidewalks - corn stalks awaiting the combine, hay bales laying in the fields like giant shredded wheat biscuits. . drooping apple trees, heavy with fruit and yes beautiful pumpkins everywhere. Summer's freshness slowly decays, but with such grace and beauty, i almost don't mind. Autumn (usually!) is such a gorgeous, glowing time. If only i could enjoy it on its own, detached from the spectre of looming winter.

I think i'll visit the pumpkin patch. . there's something almost soul less about lifting one out of a giant bin in a fluorescent store. I want to see its little bed, see the earth and smell the field smells. .

Monday, October 16, 2006


Life has indeed been whizzing by -- celebrations, road trips, hen parties, family outings, dancing classes and I haven't documented them. . but i have definitely been living them and enjoying them!

The weather has been rather dreary lately-- blech. . more like bleak November drizzle than October colours and clear skies, though Thanksgiving Weekend's weather was the warmest on record since the 1800s. . and we wrung every drop of enjoyment from that singular weekend!

I had a bright spot at Chapters the other night. . Robbie and I go there once in a while - he's so gracious and sweet about it because he is really not a reader, but he knows how much i love soaking up the atmosphere and trolling the beckoning, brightly-coloured aisles for finds. I had a gift card still unused from my summer birthday - not to mention a $5 off coupon and my Chapters/Indigo membership card (10% off all purchases) - also not to mention 15% reduction on all hard cover books. . and last not to mention i promise - i got 3 out of my 4 books in the 'up to 80% off' section!!! My glee was absolute! My purchase, at full price, would have been $131.50 plus tax . . and i parted with only $20!!!!!!! i know!!!!!

Memory Keeper's Daughter (already well into this and it's pretty fantastic) Kim Edwards
Bed of Red Flowers - In Search of My Afghanistan Nelofer Pazira
A Year In the Life of My Kitchen Art Smith
Back to the Table Annie Bell

I've been working hard lately, which may account for some of my reluctance to sit down and type any more than i have to! By the time i hit my production quota. . i could absolutely fall into bed and sometimes do. One wouldn't think that banging away at a keyboard all day would be tiring. . but i think besides the unnatural sitting position, its just the mental fatigue. My muscles are knotting up and my arthritis is flaring up - so instead of yet another course of physio, acupuncture, drugs. . my doctor has prescribed massage therapy - which you'd think sounds dreamily relaxing? Not likely. . i've had one treatment previously - it was anything but dreamy. The therapist I talked to on the phone seemed warm and friendly. She explained to me they treat the spine and its surrounding musculature and all its attachments as a unit. . . not as isolated chunks. Makes sense, right?! I thought so too. . so yeah we'll see how this goes. Living with chronic pain is an interesting thing. . the body amazes me. My vertebrae are degenerating, so my muscles overguard to protect, how do they know to do this? The pain never leaves. The simplest of tasks hurts - working, even just looking down to see what i'm chopping when i cook, or sitting beside someone and turning my neck to look at them, lifting my grandkids, doing push ups. . I absolutely will not let this rule me, so i just live with it, you know? I won't take the drugs. . 1 drug has recently been banned and another has come under scrutiny, both for raising the incidence of heart and stroke occurrence. I had a prescription for the second one that i never filled. . thank God!!! I take glucosamine. . but not enough - i don't think to take one with every meal like i should be doing. .why do i not do this? I can't even say why! lazy? don't think of it?

But in a weirdly objective way i can look at all of this and marvel at how the body can adapt to even something like ever present pain - you become so used to it, you accept it as normal and you carry on. Being a stubborn, tough chick helps too!

Dance was great tonight. . . dancing with fluidity now. . . i've got the routines and patterns in my head now - my brain and body are working together. It takes half the session to get to this point where you can dance with finesse. . i love this point because it feels like the 'real deal'. . you don't need to count, you don't even need the instructor's cueing. . you just need the music and you go! It's liberating, even transporting. . what's not to love? I love the friendship and comraderie just as much - also love that my daughters come along with me - though it's down to me and Linds now that KK is at school. I'm especially loving the latin routine. . lotsa rhumba!!!

It is that time again, time to close my eyes and hopefully dream about some non-weird things. Dreams are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Killer cliche, but true. Mine are just so out there. . I had a horrific nightmare the other night which shocked me awake, to feel my heart like a jackhammer in my chest. It took me a second to determine what was real. . i love that feeling when you realize that something that horrible is just a dream. I almost wanted to wake Rob up, but settled for just huddling next to him. I am hoping tonight for perhaps some uneventful, random craziness!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

September activities. . .

bridge over the river. . . Rob, James and Lindsay

Erica, looking pensive on a walk downtown. .

Apple picking. . . fall fun!

James and Erica, on the observation deck of the CN tower! a first time thrill for the grandchildren!! Posted by Picasa

Saturday, September 23, 2006

My "Baby" is 24!!!!!

My firstborn is 24 in a few hours. . At this time back then, Rob and I were watching Jan and Dean in concert on TV while i was in labour and we wrote down my contractions on a piece of paper to see if perhaps there was a pattern?! It was 2 weeks early. . and we weren't sure if was i was in false labour -- i wasn't! The baby wasn't due until October 6 if i remember well? She had other plans, first of which included surprising her young, still 'wet behind the ears' parents! Which is kind of ironic, since now she herself hates surprises!!

This photo is hilarious. . it is one in a series of all of us holding the flowers - don't ask why, it was her sister's idea!

I wish that i had a digital picture of Linds as a baby. . she was a gorgeous little thing. I remember the nurses fussing over her and telling me how beautiful she was. Usually newborns look like they've gone a few rounds of boxing. . but not this girl! Me, however. . it sure felt like i went a few rounds!! I was a fool and declined narcotics. Imagine? Lindsay tells me I was insane. . and looking back, she's absolutely right!!! Wow, were we ever young when she came along. . the surprise thing again. . little did we realize how much our lives would change - you never do until the change happens!

This is her 'champagne birthday'. . . 24 on the 24th. . . so we are having a feast - the menu is all her choice. . .Mom's kitchen -- Shepherd's pie, glazed carrots, buttermilk biscuits and chocolate swirl cheesecake. . . sparkling apple cider to wash it all down. . (that's the champagne!) The presents are wrapped (yes, they're all surprises, even though she hates having to wait to see what they are!!! but she expects this from us). The house is decorated. . . . and soon we will party!!! I think i'll do a party blog after the festivities end.

Happy day, Linds!!! Your Dad and I can't believe how much time has gone by!!! You've been such a wonderful daughter. . so lovely and intelligent and unique - all your phases and stages and accomplishments. . we've been very privileged to be your parents. God gave you to us and we're so grateful!! Enjoy your day with your kiddies and when we meet for supper - we will play the Beatles "Birthday song". . and we will eat and laugh. . and perhaps watch another instalment of our family videos?! yes?!!! *can't wait to see what tacky 80s clothing we're all wearing !* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LINDSAY!!!!

love always,
xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo (a kiss and hug every every year) Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

sweet things

This is dedicated to all the sweet things in life. Sour things . . well i don't want to talk about those, other than to point out what we all know. . . how would we know what sweet was, if there was never any sour?

*sliced, fresh strawberries with wildflower honey
*a bargain on a good book
*awesome music - what more can be said about this life-enhancing language than has been already been said?
*attempting to do some booty poppin' when no one's looking! YOW!
*laughing with someone
*figuring your way out of a tough situation, using your resources, ideas and common sense.
*trying something different every time you shop for groceries - doesn't have to be expensive.
*sitting outside, being under the sky
*affirming others and receiving affirmation
*filling up your tank before the gas prices go up!
*pay day!!
*a fabulously-told story -- however it's presented: movie, spoken, written, visual imagery
*freedom from something that once held you down
*UNself-conscious dancing
*aromas - of course only good ones, of which there are enough to make a zillion lists!!
*living with fervor ( trying to avoid the word 'passion', which i fear is becoming overused)
*stepping out of restraining clothing and footwear and putting on your 'ahhh' clothes
*tax refunds
*accomplishment - very sweet
*love, i couldn't leave it out, even though it sounds cheesy to say it, it must be on the sweet list
(again another overused word, yes? I'm just as guilty, ascribing love to anything and everything!)
*desserts!!!! I can't begin to express my fondness for 'second part'!
*sounds that please the ear - another mega list that will not be attempted
*freshness. . everything is best fresh, everything in every sense
*and since I must end this at some point. . . beauty, because it's sweet, lovely and essential. . no definition or parameters - i am aware of being encompassed by it every day

Sunday, September 10, 2006

feelin' like i'm on the cusp of something. . but what?



Restless, mid-lifey feeling? like something is looming on my life's horizon. . .
yeah, it's called death!!! LOL!!! i'm not being morbid - just practical! Of course it looms over us all, but that's not really it. It's something hard to pin down. Do you know what I mean?

I honestly do get really tired of myself, you know. I have an internal dialogue. . . maybe its more like a peripatetic whine-alogue. I wish i could do this, no, i wish that, no -- i've changed my mind. .that's too frivilous, that's too ambitious, that's not realistic, that's definitely not feasible. I'm middle aged and i do know myself well and have more security in knowing 'me' and knowing that i don't have to pretend or 'role play' like i did when i was very much younger.
That's where the restlessness crawls in. I should feel fine.
I've met the younger me goals: getting married to someone i LOVE, having lovely children, holding down a job. Check, check, check.

Yet i'm having trouble making sense out of things, perhaps directions, hints, nudges that i fear i may be too thick to receive or comprehend. . What else am i supposed to do?? Is there anything else? Am I destined to be in this job for the rest of my working years? or not?
How can i desire to do something of lasting value in my community, my country and yes, the world? I have fleeting moments of this kind of desire and I do feel and i give and i feel some more for others. . . but most often i'm just so about those who are dear to me. I feel still so unformed.

Sometimes I think that must do a big thing, but I'm not a 'big thing' doer.
Then I think it's about 'the little things', but they seem like a drop in the bucket.
I then think about medium. . what about medium-sized things? that seems like a good compromise. . but even medium scares me into a paralyzed kind of funk.
My spirit thirsts to be spiritual. Spiritual is truer, deeper.
My mind and physical part work against that desire. . like they don't want spirity spirit-face in on the fun - killjoy.

The other day i went to some lovely shops in another town - i enjoyed looking at beautiful things, i enjoyed talking to the people i met. . . i was happy, i bought a few things (some were gifts, a couple of things were for me). I felt strange. . . i was walking along with the bags in my hands, telling myself: "You're feeling materialistic and you like it!" Yes, I did like it and i felt strange that i felt like i had to shut my spirit out of that experience. . . why can i not integrate myself? Why do i sit in judgement of something like that? I wasn't paying $900 for a handbag, i was just in a little town buying a few things that together didn't even total $90. I know that when i was in the bakery buying goodies *doing some taste testing for my own 'field research' -- another blog topic!* I could think about starvation in the third world. . AIDS, human trafficking, terrorism, there's plenty more -we all know. . and I could feel strange about eating a lemon coconut square while the world groans with the collective suffering of it's people. But i've got to get a grip. . I can't be hyperspiritual. I can't be hyperphysical and though I'm very good at this last one, I can't be hyperemotional. no hyper. . just take that right outta there. I can be integrated. . I have to be. No one part of me should ever be outside the others, but it is, cuz three's an odd number and someone always gets left out. Not only that, but the combinations are always changing, so it's always a different part that gets neglected.

Angst is not the exclusive domain of the teenager.

I think too much, that's what Rob says. *he also thinks that i feel too much, but knows that i can't seem to help this* (he also thinks that sometimes i talk too much too -- cuz in his books, anything beyond a few words is 'too much'!)

Well, even just putting these words on this screen is just cathartic enough to ease my mind.

I can be whole everywhere i go. I can be spirit, mind and body all at the same time. I always get in trouble when i'm not. Still, integration aside, I feel something coming and it's driving me insane!!!! Is it just unfulfilled dreams, or undone deeds manifesting as this feeling of potential? Potential for what??! I can't assign anything to it, I can't fit it into anything. It just is.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Jimmy Jo Jo Shabadoo!

James is 6 years old today!!!
James loves to ride the seadoo and scream: 'woo hoo'!!!

James loves trains and planes and cars.
James has many names: (these are just a few)
James, Jimmy, Jimmy Coco Pop, Jimmy Jo Jo, Mr. McGoo, Puddin' (he gets this from great grandma!) Bud and Bud-boy.

James loves to be swung around by Opa. He's just winding up here!
James hates to sit still.
James loves history.
James is a little prankster.

James is just starting grade 1.
James loves grown up books.

James likes to be in perpetual motion.
James has cool hair.
James has a big heart.
James fills our lives with joy.
Happy Birthday, Jimmy! lots of love always and forever. . . . from Opa and Nana Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 01, 2006

Port Dover - 2 weekends ago

lying down, under the fishy umbrella.
deep breath in. . . . . .

exhale ,

lying in the sun with Robbie on a beautifully lazy day.

the sound of the waves,

the gulls.

sitting at light house point. . didn't want this day to end!!! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

shout out to the girls at work!!!

Wow. . . I am so impressed with the women I work with. I love them and respect them. Walking in someone else's shoes really does give a new perspective. I've once more been able to see everyone working, I watch them, their expertise is inspiring. Yes, girls . . you rock!!! They're like my family. . I've known some of them for over 2 decades and we have weathered so much together. Others I've known a shorter time, but they are equally fantastic! Geez, I'm getting very emotional sitting here thinking about all of them! I'm not going to post pictures, want to keep the work place anonymous. . heard of too many ppl getting too personal and divulging too much re work in the blogosphere. .corporations don't like that! So, I will play it safe. I'll just speak here in general terms. For those of you I don't work with, this will just give you an idea of the work side of me and thanks for reading!! Why don't you all share with me your work experiences? your thoughts about your job, your co workers, etc. I'd love to hear it!!!

In case you're all wondering where this gush of emotion has it's origin, i have had the distinct pleasure of working 'in house' for a few days during the last week and a half and have felt once more connected and part of the team. I have been able to do other jobs and have such respect for the regular 'doers' of those jobs! Pulling charts is back breaking, physical work. I kid you not, we have chart banks in several parts of the building, that go literally from floor to ceiling. (good thing I'm tall i don't need the step stools!) I have reached high and squatted on my haunches, I have sat down on the floor to file, bent over at the waist and crouched to find the right numbers on the bottom rows. I have yanked tightly packed charts out of their crammed spaces and then used my entire upper body strength to wedge them back in without damaging!! Here's a little aside. . . . it's a weird thing to speak in the chart area. . . sound cannot escape and does not carry through the long corridors. . voices take on an extremely mute, strangulated quality. . very strange.

I have walked and walked and walked up and down the narrow aisles and rows. . I was joking with one of the girlies that I would probably have nightmares about being crushed by the massive banks, or of feeling squeezed in the close, narrow aisles, seeing thousands upon thousands of colour-coded numbers close in on me!!! I have assembled charts and seen what happens to all the documentation from all the different areas. I have even seen my own work on these charts, which was weird for me! but cool!! (yes, i checked for mistakes and happily didn't find any!! phew!)

I've been so happy to be in with everyone, taking breaks and having lunch with these wonderful people, catching up on things - though we all keep in touch via e-mail - it's such a great thing to have hugs, share laughs, find out where the chocolate stash is, work side by side. It has spoiled me to the point that I'm going to really find it hard to transition back to solitude - a thing I have never taken to and probably never will -- at least not when it comes to work. Companionship makes work lighter and more enjoyable (most of the time!) Being alone is nice sometimes, but not all the time. I think it's unnatural to work alone and I really dislike it.

Our work place is big, but not huge. . . you see people in the halls, in the caf, in the lobby, walking in at the start of the day and out at the end. It's really about community and commonality. I've been able to hear, in person, some touching news , sad news, funny stories, exciting stories and I feel so privileged to be in a position to listen and share.

Girls (and a few guys over the years!!) you know who you are! I cannot ever tell you what you mean to me and how you've made me a better person. I can't really describe just how amazing it is to share the details and experiences of life with all of you. I pray for you all often and I think the world of you. You are all beautiful and wonderful and you have my genuine, whole-hearted admiration.

Friday, August 25, 2006

trialing the new camera

I'm taking it along with me whenever we go out. It's fun to see what my new Pentax can do! It's really easy to use. I like . . .yeah. .

the grandkiddies are favourite subjects. . natch!

Robbie has an interesting look in his eyes. . .and he is kinda glowy. . Posted by Picasa