Monday, October 16, 2006

Disconnected

Life has indeed been whizzing by -- celebrations, road trips, hen parties, family outings, dancing classes and I haven't documented them. . but i have definitely been living them and enjoying them!

The weather has been rather dreary lately-- blech. . more like bleak November drizzle than October colours and clear skies, though Thanksgiving Weekend's weather was the warmest on record since the 1800s. . and we wrung every drop of enjoyment from that singular weekend!

I had a bright spot at Chapters the other night. . Robbie and I go there once in a while - he's so gracious and sweet about it because he is really not a reader, but he knows how much i love soaking up the atmosphere and trolling the beckoning, brightly-coloured aisles for finds. I had a gift card still unused from my summer birthday - not to mention a $5 off coupon and my Chapters/Indigo membership card (10% off all purchases) - also not to mention 15% reduction on all hard cover books. . and last not to mention i promise - i got 3 out of my 4 books in the 'up to 80% off' section!!! My glee was absolute! My purchase, at full price, would have been $131.50 plus tax . . and i parted with only $20!!!!!!! i know!!!!!

Memory Keeper's Daughter (already well into this and it's pretty fantastic) Kim Edwards
Bed of Red Flowers - In Search of My Afghanistan Nelofer Pazira
A Year In the Life of My Kitchen Art Smith
Back to the Table Annie Bell

I've been working hard lately, which may account for some of my reluctance to sit down and type any more than i have to! By the time i hit my production quota. . i could absolutely fall into bed and sometimes do. One wouldn't think that banging away at a keyboard all day would be tiring. . but i think besides the unnatural sitting position, its just the mental fatigue. My muscles are knotting up and my arthritis is flaring up - so instead of yet another course of physio, acupuncture, drugs. . my doctor has prescribed massage therapy - which you'd think sounds dreamily relaxing? Not likely. . i've had one treatment previously - it was anything but dreamy. The therapist I talked to on the phone seemed warm and friendly. She explained to me they treat the spine and its surrounding musculature and all its attachments as a unit. . . not as isolated chunks. Makes sense, right?! I thought so too. . so yeah we'll see how this goes. Living with chronic pain is an interesting thing. . the body amazes me. My vertebrae are degenerating, so my muscles overguard to protect, how do they know to do this? The pain never leaves. The simplest of tasks hurts - working, even just looking down to see what i'm chopping when i cook, or sitting beside someone and turning my neck to look at them, lifting my grandkids, doing push ups. . I absolutely will not let this rule me, so i just live with it, you know? I won't take the drugs. . 1 drug has recently been banned and another has come under scrutiny, both for raising the incidence of heart and stroke occurrence. I had a prescription for the second one that i never filled. . thank God!!! I take glucosamine. . but not enough - i don't think to take one with every meal like i should be doing. .why do i not do this? I can't even say why! lazy? don't think of it?

But in a weirdly objective way i can look at all of this and marvel at how the body can adapt to even something like ever present pain - you become so used to it, you accept it as normal and you carry on. Being a stubborn, tough chick helps too!

Dance was great tonight. . . dancing with fluidity now. . . i've got the routines and patterns in my head now - my brain and body are working together. It takes half the session to get to this point where you can dance with finesse. . i love this point because it feels like the 'real deal'. . you don't need to count, you don't even need the instructor's cueing. . you just need the music and you go! It's liberating, even transporting. . what's not to love? I love the friendship and comraderie just as much - also love that my daughters come along with me - though it's down to me and Linds now that KK is at school. I'm especially loving the latin routine. . lotsa rhumba!!!

It is that time again, time to close my eyes and hopefully dream about some non-weird things. Dreams are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Killer cliche, but true. Mine are just so out there. . I had a horrific nightmare the other night which shocked me awake, to feel my heart like a jackhammer in my chest. It took me a second to determine what was real. . i love that feeling when you realize that something that horrible is just a dream. I almost wanted to wake Rob up, but settled for just huddling next to him. I am hoping tonight for perhaps some uneventful, random craziness!

7 comments:

emma said...

You got some great deals at that book store Kat! Good work! I hope your pain dies down a bit... my dad suffers from back problems a lot and I know how painful it is for him at times!

Lindsay said...

Yay for sales! Dreams are funny, you really don't know what awaits you when you hit the pillow. I had a nightmare the other night, too..it was actually three separate dreams, all about haunted houses that were posessed by a poltergeist/demon. I kept waking up, falling back to sleep and having another bad dream! Just this morning I was checking on Erica who had woken up and James said to me blearily, 'Why is there a circle in the playground?' It's hilarious to hear people talk when they're still half dreaming, they say some weird things!

Kathryn said...

oh, yeah. . book deals are always sweet, eh? Thanx, Emma for the well wishes. . i wish the same for your Dad. .

my nightmare also involved a haunted house!!! our house. . but yet it wasn't recognizable. . there were antique pictures on the walls of people i didn't know and they seemed to be watching me. .everything was only half built, no walls only framing, staircases suspended in the air, no sides. .old, cobwebby furniture and a strange, stretching quality of the space in the house. . it seemed to go into infinity. . it was cavernous and echoey in the most bizarre way. Of course the highlight at the top of the stairs. .a body. . i won't even try to describe. . i get the heebeejeebees just recalling the memory, this is the point at which i scream, then woke up! Luckily for me i didn't have any more of that dream. . poor you!!! having more than one bad dream is crappy!! :(

awww, Jimmy and Eri. . it is hilarious to hear them speak when they're not with it yet. .

Amy said...

I love getting a good deal and I love bookstores. The Memory Keeper's Daughter is on my shelf to read, haven't read it yet, but looking more forward to it now.

Good for you for not being ruled by pain. That takes courage I don't even know if I have. :-)

supersimbo said...

Kat i suppose i never really understood exactly how you suffer until i read this.............i worked with someone who suffered exactly like you do..........really amazes me how you can just keep going, inspiring is maybe a better way to describe it. I have had back issues for nearly ten years, i blame some heavy lifting in my first job but mmmm i dunno. Sometimes i totally forget and then i bend down to pick up something as pathetic as a pen and i am like an old man complete with pain fuelled groan!! emma probably remembers that from the upper room!! Its not nice!!
But hey...................."hang tough"

Kathryn said...

Hey, Ally! So sorry to hear about your back acting up on you sometimes. . mine does this - Rob's does this to him! It's called GETTING OLD!!! LOL!!!!

I had a whiplash injury over 2 decades ago now, but it really messed up my neck. I also sustained a heavy crush injury on my lower back - you'll never believe how, but it involved a camp skit, a table with unlocked legs *unknown to me*, 5 women on the table doing the 'paint faces on their chins and lip synching to the music skit'. . I was under the tableclothed table with a bucket of water to jump out at the end of the skit and douse the front row campers. . the entire table and all 5 women fell on my back and flattened me under the table as i crouched, waiting my cue.. . that was a frightening moment, in which i thought for sure that my back was broken. Apparently it did something to the alignment of my whole body. Got taken to the hospital, x-rays the whole bit. . no fractures. They told me that it was a good thing i had strong muscles and a large frame and they gave me muscle relaxants and sent me back to camp!

Well you know, its okay - Advil is a good thing. . microwaveable heating bags are fantastic. .icy cold rub helps for a little while. . hey, i get by!!! And I am so friggin' stubborn that I will never give in to this until it takes me out. . which it better not, cuz i'll fight it to the end! I will be normal!!!

Kathryn said...

Hi, Amy! That's so cool that you also have "The Memory Keeper's Daughter"! When you're done you'll have to let me know what you thought of it!