Wednesday, June 01, 2005

and you think your job is bad?!!!

"Groom of the Stool". . . now there's a job for a Tudor gentleman -- wiping King Henry VIII's buttocks after he's done a #2. . HA HA HA. . . I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS AN ACTUAL JOB!!! Yes, it really was! Tudor royalty was considered to be fleshly divinity - therefore not the least bit inclined to attend to mundane matters of personal hygiene. They wouldn't want those regal hands to become soiled, so they appointed someone to wipe up after they did their 'business', or administer enemas to take over where their steady diet of fatty meat left off.
Imagine the 'privilege' of navigating the rolls of the coruplent, kingly, 52 inch waisted girth? Work fit for for an aristocrat! Man, diapering a baby is gross enough and their bums are teeny and cute. **shudder**

Take this link into the disgusting anals of centuries' worth of England's worst jobs. . .

ponder the fate of the tanner, the 'mudlark', the actor (yes actors were considered to be the lowest of the low), the workhouse prisoner, the bone grubber, the 'powder monkey', the rat catcher, the professional 'nit picker' and the violin string maker (sheep's intestines did not get shipped to the factory, the string maker 'harvested' and cleaned his own -- baaaaaad stuff!) The most bizarre one i think was that of 'professional hermit'! Wealthy Victorian mansion dwellers would employ a 'hermit' to live in a cave on their property. They were not to speak to anyone, not even to the servants who brought them food. . they were not permitted to bathe, groom themselves in any way, speak, interact with anyone and were not paid until 7 years' time had expired, at which point if they had not gone completely bonkers - they would receive a lump sum payment of 50 pounds for each year of hermitage!! The hermits would be required to 'perform' for company at their 'employer's' whim. . one such employer required his hermit to hold up a human skull and stare at it. .

Rob and I have been watching this History Channel series and it is positively enthralling. . I'm very thankful that we do not have 'smellivision'. . as the host's descriptions and reactions are so vivid that I am even beyond gratitude to downright relief.

You know what? I suddenly love my job!!!


Lindsay said...

Man, some of those jobs are outrageous! I missed it again last night, I was watching 'Little Giants' and totally forgot about it! King Henry VIII actually hired someone to wipe his butt for him?! They only agreed to do that because they knew he would have them beheaded if they refused! That professional hermit thing is just crazy! The things that passed for entertainment before the invention of t.v.!

supersimbo said...

wow i should not complain too much after that

Kathryn said...

we watched the last instalment last night. . the 'guillemot' egg collector had to be the worst!! these type of birds nested in cliffs and people were actually paid to get these eggs. .they had only rope and a bucket, no safety harnesses, no helmets. The cliffs were super high and the ocean was churning below, with some nice, jagged rocks to break your fall. . I'm liking my job more and more!!!