"Groom of the Stool". . . now there's a job for a Tudor gentleman -- wiping King Henry VIII's buttocks after he's done a #2. . HA HA HA. . . I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS AN ACTUAL JOB!!! Yes, it really was! Tudor royalty was considered to be fleshly divinity - therefore not the least bit inclined to attend to mundane matters of personal hygiene. They wouldn't want those regal hands to become soiled, so they appointed someone to wipe up after they did their 'business', or administer enemas to take over where their steady diet of fatty meat left off.
Imagine the 'privilege' of navigating the rolls of the coruplent, kingly, 52 inch waisted girth? Work fit for for an aristocrat! Man, diapering a baby is gross enough and their bums are teeny and cute. **shudder**
Take this link into the disgusting anals of centuries' worth of England's worst jobs. . .http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/W/worstjobs/index.html
ponder the fate of the tanner, the 'mudlark', the actor (yes actors were considered to be the lowest of the low), the workhouse prisoner, the bone grubber, the 'powder monkey', the rat catcher, the professional 'nit picker' and the violin string maker (sheep's intestines did not get shipped to the factory, the string maker 'harvested' and cleaned his own -- baaaaaad stuff!) The most bizarre one i think was that of 'professional hermit'! Wealthy Victorian mansion dwellers would employ a 'hermit' to live in a cave on their property. They were not to speak to anyone, not even to the servants who brought them food. . they were not permitted to bathe, groom themselves in any way, speak, interact with anyone and were not paid until 7 years' time had expired, at which point if they had not gone completely bonkers - they would receive a lump sum payment of 50 pounds for each year of hermitage!! The hermits would be required to 'perform' for company at their 'employer's' whim. . one such employer required his hermit to hold up a human skull and stare at it. .
Rob and I have been watching this History Channel series and it is positively enthralling. . I'm very thankful that we do not have 'smellivision'. . as the host's descriptions and reactions are so vivid that I am even beyond gratitude to downright relief.
You know what? I suddenly love my job!!!