its 10 minutes to 2 in the a.m. i'm weary but my tossing and turning in that 'oven' that's passing for a bedroom. I'm no closer to lapsing into anything that resembles sleep. my 'el cheapo' husband refuses to put on the central air so soon in the season! oh come on, its the first week of June and today is wiltingly humid. . . though he hasn't checked filters, etc. on the unit, so gotta suffer 2nite anyway. otherwise i'd defiantly crank that baby up!!! Maybe the 3 cans of diet coke consumed around the supper hour have something to do with my current state? i consumed them before 8 p.m., which is my usual 'caffeine cut off time'. . or it might even have been the small slice of espresso/bittersweet chocolate cake that we had in honour of Rob's birthday! our windows are open and the little, tiny bugs smaller than the screen holes are buzzing around and biting me! to top it all off. . there's a wicked cat fight going on outside our bedroom window. . .
so i'm lying in the dark, flipping my pillow to the 'cool side'. . which soon becomes the 'warm side' and this could go on indefinitely! everything's clammy and icky. . but my mind is in high gear. . thinking a million and one thoughts - which often seems to be my biggest problem -- shutting down the brain!!! How is that done? I've never been good at that and have consequently battled insomnia since childhood!!! Back before 24 hour television, all that used to be on in the wee hours was teletyped weather information scrolling across an otherwise blank screen, or cameras focusing on barometers, clocks, etc. I used to sit in front of the TV and watch test pattern!. Can you GET any more desperate??! now all that's on is infomercials. . i don't even both checking any more. . i don't need what they're selling.. . though if they were selling sleep, i'd phone in for that.
Today is Rob's 44th b'day! I've been celebrating b'days with him since he was 16. . unbelievable and wonderful!! We had a family supper earlier this evening. . it was great, sticky fun. . though everyone was a bit irritated from the heat!!! Today we're both off work - a nice b'day for Robbie. . i'll probably be sleeping all day!!! ha ha. . nah. . its only 2:15 now, i've stayed up that late many a time, then got up at 7:45, to start work, which for me is about as early as it gets. People who wake at 5 or 6 a.m. part of me is awed by their ability and part of me says "is there a 5 a.m.? what does a sunrise look like?" i wake up every day and the sun's up there already. . the world's been going full tilt and i'm perpetually tardy! oh well. . . God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. .
well, i'm goin' crazy here with these miniscule pests. . they're attracted to light of the computer screen. i've probably smushed a good 20 of them into oblivion. summer's over rated, man! YUCK!! anyway, i think i'll give the pillow wrestling another go. . the cats have either killed themselves or called it a draw. .all's quiet on the western front and i'm yawning, that's a good sign, right? now if i can just de-active my brain!
wish me luck!!!