sleep

trying another colour! I love this periwinkle. . gorgeous!

I have a lot of things i could write about, but since my thoughts are drifting to matters of rest, i thought: Why not write about sleep? *does anyone know if we're supposed to put our thoughts in quotes?*

My daughter just told me to have a good sleep, I wished her the same. Of all the glorious things that life has to offer us, I think that sleep is right up there in a top 10 list, if there is such a top 10 list of life experiences. If there isn't, I could easily make one - but maybe another time - this is strictly about old 'shut eye'.

Wow, talking about sleep. . where to start?

I think that sleep is a mystery. I know all the reasons why we do it, i know that our 'operating system' goes to 'auxiliary power' for the duration, i know that dreams are all the things that scientists tell us they are. . but to my mind the whole process is mystical and even spiritual. Sleep is when we are at our most vulnerable, off guard, down for the count physically and mentally. . . it is also when we are most honest i think. A person can't pretend when they're sleeping. Their deepest thoughts manifest in their dreams, their ambitions cease, their work stops. . their childhood often surfaces. . . its a mysterious, foggy, marvelous thing.

Fetuses sleep - is it sleep, what they do while they are gestating? I'm not even sure!!! I've always assumed so. Maybe I'm wrong? But let's say they do, cuz let's face it, after the tiring birth ordeal, trying to sort out the gnawing happening in their gut that makes them screamy, growing accustomed to expelling waste and having to feel it, and having to feel in general. .( what sensory overload must be theirs?!!!), a good part of each day in their newly minted lives is all about sleeping -- 18 out of 24 hours' worth of it. Sleep = growth. Sleep = brain maturation. Sleep = a break from this crazed place they've popped into!

Children sleep - though they don't want to admit it!! Older babies and toddlers like napping. . they need to be napping! Parents need them to be napping!!! But young children - you even try to suggest that they need to go to bed, they get ugly, man! They've been around long enough by this time to know that if they shut their eyes, they're gonna miss something!!! They seem to live so much in the day that they're not even thinking of another day coming along that may also be potentially fabulous. . . they don't want this one to end!!! They employ many methods to stave off the sandman. . . stories, drinks of water, monster check, playing past lights out, getting out of bed, sneaking downstairs... personally I think these children are nuts! I loooove sleeping so much, i'm ready to 'drop and give you 40' *winks, that is* any time you suggest it! (if i don't have any caffeine in my system and if i'm not having a bout of insomnia, that is)

I used to have trouble falling asleep when I was a kid. . .that hasn't changed much really, ever. I shared a room with my sisters for many of my growing up years - i was always the last one asleep. I used to keep them awake much longer than they wanted to be. . .just so that i would have someone to talk to. When it was summer time and mosquitos had gotten into the house - they always droned in my ears and bit my flesh while everyone else in the house seemed to snooze contentedy. I could never figure this out. I had trouble shutting my brain down. . i still do. I would walk the floors at night as an 8 year-old kid, I do it now in my 40s. . . clock ticking, me tossing and turning or padding around the house in my nightgown. No matter where you put me. . . camp, sleepovers, holidays, vehicles. . .i can't seem to fall asleep. . it takes me forever -- everybody beats me to it. Maybe I just don't require as much sleep as others? I had nightmares then and I have them now. I was often afraid of going to sleep because I didn't want to dream those terrible dreams!!! I had a paralyzing fear of monsters, ghosts, the dark, things, shadows, odd noises, being alone -- I slept on back into my teens so that i wouldn't be surprised by anything or anyone. I would never let my limbs dangle outside the confines of the bedding. I had to do closet checks and under the bed checks. . geez louise, I'm a head case!!!!!

When I was really young i knew that I was finally falling when i would feel like that feather in Forrest Gump. . remember the opening credits? the feather drifting down, down, wafting in lazy circles. . . I actually saw a feather identical to that the other day as i was climbing my stairs to go back up to work. I looked out my landing window and spied this fluffy, white feather just rocking in the breeze. . i smiled. Another way that I knew i was falling to sleep, was my limbs, even my whole body suddenly jerking. . now I HATE when that happens, cuz it always startles the crap outta me!! But its always a bit exciting, because I know that my brain is finally letting go of the reins!!!

I'm getting lazy in my old age, despite battles with insomnia and too much thinking!!! *I can't even have music up loud enough that my brain hears the words, otherwise I will remain awake!* The older I get the more I love to sleep. . . I love to nap - when i work i have 'power naps', in which I dial up the timer to 15 minutes and sink into my lovely bed and zonk out until I hear the ding. . . which is most bizarre. . . cuz you know, Robbie and I have this alarm that shrieks in a manner like the shower scene music from Hitchcock's "Psycho". . . yet I never hear it. When our girls were little if they just whispered "Mommy". . I would wake from a dead sleep to go help them! I've always been unable to hear alarm clocks of any sort. . wind up jobbies, screaming mimis, loud music-playing dealies. . . can't hear them. When I was in high school my father had to shake me awake. . . if that didn't work, he'd get the lids from the pots and pans in the kitchen and bang them together repeatedly. If he was on the wrong shift, I was screwed. . . i often ran late!

So, I think that I can definitely see the shift happening. . I am beginning to like sleep more. . . so that means that I'm beginning to age, as we all know this means that give or take 30, maybe 40 years . . i'll be just like a baby again. . perhaps sleeping as many hours as they do, probably gumming pablum like they do, and wearing giant pampers. . oh boy. . . you know - i don't even want to go there!!! *i'm laughing!!!** anyway. . i'm all draggy and sleepy. . if there are any spelling mistakes, you'll know that at 2:30 i cannot guarantee coherence. I can't wait for 'touchdown'. . . which is what I call it when my weary head gets to touch down on my waiting pillow. . at which point I always say "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh". .