Monday, June 02, 2008

puzzling

some things exist but i really wonder why
i've been making a mental list and it goes like this:

Cheez Whiz
processed 'cheese food' / aka 'heart attack in a jar' WHY?! (goopy garbage!)

ditto for 'pork rinds'. . . yuck. What area of the 'rind' do these come from?? snout? 'nether regions'? gah.

back hair -- strange phenomenon, that is

centipedes -- these are not only crawly and gross to look at, but they're lightning fast and that makes them even scarier. . I cannot help screaming every time i see one

pale blue eyeshadow (this doesn't look very good on anyone)

pleather - sausage casing for humans,

vegemite??? spreadable brewing byproduct. .brown, yeasty and certainly nasty

plumber's butt?! ugh, this is gross

unsynchronized traffic lights -- stop, start. . drive one block, stop again and repeat and repeat

chocolate-flavoured 'baking chips'?! these are an abomination
right up there with artificial flavour extracts. .

'greenlawn' services calling our house every night at supper (thank God for call display!!) wouldn't they get the hint after several months of no one answering their call?

tapered leg, light denim 'mom' jeans??!! i'm seeing too many of these out there, people.

President's Choice "Chipotle Smokies Sausages" with 22 grams of fat per 100 gram sausage (BAD things come in small packages) boourns to Galen Weston for that craptastic fat content

"Just One Drop" 'bathroom product'.. "Just a drop before you 'go' eliminates embarrassing odour." Now there will be potentially millions of people out there whose 'sh#$ don't stink', literally. This seems oddly pleasing, doesn't it?
So this one doesn't really count.

shorts -- knobby knees, white skin, bandy legs and a whole lotta skin surface area that usually doesn't need to be shown - maybe they should only be worn by athletes and people with fantastic legs? (shorts frighten me!)

"Kraft Dinner". . . this stuff bites. Tiny, little insignificant tubes of pasta with that little sachet of freeze dried, powdered 'cheesy dust' your pour into the pot along with milk and butter. How do i hate thee, KD? let me count the ways. . to infinity and way beyond.

canned beets -- i have distant, childhood memories of these stinkers. I've never tried anything beety since.. can't seem to work up the courage

toilet paper rolls that won't 'start'. . . i've fought too many battles with these things, ended up with strips and shreds instead of squares.

shiny, shampoo add hair. . why don't i see this on anybody except the shampoo commercial models? Are they all wearing glossy wigs???! where can i get one?!!!

2 comments:

electroluminescence said...

1. I absolutely ADORE you for reading my blog and leaving me comments. you're the only faithful commenter on my blog.
2. we did indeed have a blast and a half in florida. it was fab being with our friends.
3. seriously... your blog posts and thought never cease to amaze me and entertain me.
4. nether regions?!
5. i am NOT a fan of beets either.
6. i absolutely HATE the toilet paper battles.... when you can't a freaking piece of toilet paper off of the roll!
6. centipedes and any kind of insect in general creep the HECK out of me. ahh!
7. i am guilty of eating kraft macaroni every once and awhile. SICK, i know.
8. mmmm. i want chocolate.... not those artificial baking chips....but REAL chocolate. ahhhhhh. i wish.
9. i wear shorts. my legs need a little work to get back in shape though. and they desperatel need a tan.
10. you are the bomb.com. isn't Hell's kitchen lame this year? i don't want anyone to win!

kathryn said...

of course i read your blog, sunshine! this post was a silly one, riffin' on such things is therapeutic! lol. . You are a great candidate for shorts, cuz you're a gymnast. and yes, Hell's Kitchen IS lame this year. . i don't really think anyone stands out. blah. xo