Wednesday, September 14, 2005

just how sweaty can a woman get? my fitness journey

I remember the smell well, and believe me the smell of a man after a hockey game, well its just disgusting beyond words. Rob used to be in this league that got ice time late Tuesday nights. He loved it. When we were newlyweds i would go with him and sit in the stands, under the ancient heat lamps. I'd clap my rabbit fur mittens together and whoop and 'woo hoo' and otherwise verbally encourage him every time he skated past me! Oh, we are sooooo not newlyweds now!!! 24 years down the road!!! For one, he says his old bod is beyond playing hockey. . .i can relate! cuz i'm starting to feel the progress of time and its not always kind!! Not to mention that i wouldn't flippin' well sit in some freezing cold arena under the meager heat of those silly, little lamps now. Aren't i a hard case?!! I hate hockey, but I love Rob! So, if he still played it, he'd be on his own, which would suit both of us just fine. . cuz we are well beyond that 'joined at the hip' stage. *thank God!!!*

So, yes, back from memories of Rob's hockey stank and his salty kisses. . BLECH!
The sweatness this time, I'm afraid is all mine. I'm a bit genteel, i admit. . well sort of in the sense that I don't really like sweating. I have long tried to avoid it, but with my current penchant for expressing myself through dance, i am rapidly discovering that i am JUST as stinky as Rob used to be post hockey!!! Its grossin' me out!!!

As you may have already read here. . . I am faithfully doing my Afro-Brazilian dancing **i'm even thinking about 'capoeira'. . but that sounds a bit intense?!** and my belly dancing. These 2 DVDs have REALLY loosened me up and started me on the path of perspiration and enjoyment of fitness!!! yee haw!!! Imagine enjoying getting in shape!???
Believe me, fellow babies, i have tried it all!!! I once thought that Billy Blanks was the new fitness messiah. . . i don't think so any more. Sorry, he gets old after a while -- what with all his barking and counting in 8s, the only part i liked was the 'horse stance' cuz it made me feel all powerful!! and the tai chi, but i didn't know exactly what that did? I bought a Nordictrack ski machine. . BORING!! weeewuhweeewuh. . . arms and legs, arms and legs -- pulleys and fake skis going nowhere. . staring at walls. How excruciating. I bought an elliptical trainer -- ho hum. . . that thing was positively tedious. . . what was i thinking??Total Gym 100? Chuck Norris gave us displays of his sinewy, rawboned musculature - "You, too can sculpt your body with the Total Gym 100"poppycock!!! Its got all these stupid adjustments you have to make for every sequence you need to do. Why make things so difficult??! I went for the Tony Little Gazelle. . . you've gotta be joking!? The guy's on drugs, man. I could not take his fever pitch, machine gun instructional video dialogue!! *not to mention this, of all fitness equipment I have owned, is a WUSS machine that did absolutely nothing for me* These things all promise fun, but baby, they don't deliver!!! Rob and the girls would always roll their eyes at my phases. . all that equipment, which i would sell cuz i just found each and every piece of it fiendishly and excruciatingly boring. So, I vowed never to buy another piece of big equipment and I have kept my vow. I always thought it was the 'economical' thing to do. . . its cheaper than annual gym fees, true. But it lacks one thing: "the movitation of money". I have discovered that if you are not always paying for something, you won't do it! And my foray into increasing my dancing time and my motivation will bear that out, in the next paragraph or two.

I told myself "I'll just walk, that will be my fitness." Well, you know I could walk till Jesus comes back and the flub ain't disappearing. If I walked for hours every day maybe some of my chub would depart. . but the walking and walking just never did it; especially walking with Rob, cuz he's always in 'first gear'. . .and i have to 'gear down' in order to walk with him. He's a stroller, a lollygagging, laid back guy who has these l o n g legs. . but just trying to get him to move them. .

I've tried jogging. . . of all forms of fitness this is the one i DESPISE with every ounce of my being. I see people out running all the time and I wonder "Is there some mass hypnotism going on in this world?" Is every jogger being mesmerized into thinking this is enjoyable?? Come on, people!!! running, jogging. . . its just so gross. . it feels gross and its hard and it makes me feel like puking and my asthmatic lungs shut right off. . its so jarring and pounding and makes me feel horrendous. GAH. . .

So, dance. . . Its always lurked around in my fitness history. . . i've done some 'danceaerobics', "Dance Fit"live classes and videos, but for the most part, these were more 'aerobics' than dancing. . and they just weren't very fun for me. I've done hip hop on this cool, little cable TV show. . which disappeared from the air waves. . . boo hoo. I loved that! When I went to the gym i LOVED my 'cardio jam' class. . which unfortunately was cancelled. . our little Trina was a fantastic, hard core dance teacher. . who really inspired me to find enjoyment at last. . ahhhh. . what a great thing after trying everything under the sun. . I was enjoying hip hop, crumping, jazz. . .it was awesome.

So, now at this point in my journey I have decided to augment my current home fitness with some live classes, which i have to pay for and must faithfully attend in order to 'get my money's worth'! Nothing works except paying money!! Left to your own devices, you will alway bag off, chicken out, put off or wimp out.

This is where the title of this little ramble comes in. . . I ask it again. "Just how sweaty can a woman get?" Well, I'll tell ya! Can't stand my own smell when i lift up my arms -- clothes stuck to my skin, sliding off the matt when doing floor work, rivulets of water running down my extremities that i wonder "Where'd those come from? This is just a women's dance class!" Panting like a dog after every routine. . guzzling water like a stranded in the desert person, driving home with my back away from the seat, for fear of saturating the upholstery, wondering the whole time if i should even be sitting in the van, cuz i smell so bad!! That is how sweaty a woman can get. . but all grossness aside. . . Its only taken me forever to find joy in this fitness journey -- i'm giddily and ecstatically pleased that I finally did! I'm sleeping better. . i'm beginning to feel better inside and outside. .I'm meeting new people and I'm friggin' happy about it all!!!! Sweat is my new best friend - I don't avoid it now. . i appreciate it, but i also appreciate getting rid of it!! peeeyoo!!!


faith said...

I swear you have the longest posts EVER!!! I bairly read half of that. But I will say that I don't mind the sweating...I just drink alot of water while exercising which makes your sweat less 'sticky' and gross...and then treat myself to a long hot shower after and lots of cream on my body after the shower to make me smell pretty! :)

Tracy said...

Oh man, that was funny! But I enjoy sweating, when I'm working out. I always check the back of my shirt to see if it shows! LOL Sounds like you're making great strides there - PUN INTENDED!!! I suppose you've already sold that elliptical, eh? That's my favourite machine...yeah, I'm not much of a fan of dancing, like you are.

Kathryn said...

Faith, you hurt my feelings!!! geez. . i hate to think that my blogs are so long that people don't want to read them???!!!!

I can't seem to keep it short. . .i just like to tell a story i guess? *and I enjoy it*

Tracy! thanx for the encouragement! heh heh. . sweat showing on the shirt. . like a badge of honour!!! yes, unfortunately I did sell my elliptical a while ago. . to one of my work buddies! it wasn't a nice one like at the gyms, which is why i got rid of it!!

Everyone has their 'thing', eh? for me finding it was the arduous part.

Tracy said...

As far as exercise equipment goes, it seems as though you might as well spend the big bucks if you're going to buy something, otherwise you just don't get the quality, stability, and durability you need to make it worthwhile. I've been using my Mom's "Health Walker" for the past week, except I use it more like an elliptical and come closer to running on it than walking. Is it ever starting to creak!!!

Krista said...

Nice one Kat! I'm in the market for a new Cardio game plan! I need to join some classes at my gym I think - I just hate how they're time-sensitive. Where did you find this awesome class? What's it called?

Kathryn said...

i know what you mean about the 'time sensitive' nature of classes at the gym. When I went to the gym I did almost exclusively classes. . and i was always rushing to make them!!! but i found them better for me. . i loved the variety and the feeling of comraderie with the other class members.

As for this dance program i've found. . its called "Shemotions". . yeah, cheesy I know. . They have classes located all over the city - the closest one to you would be the Hespeler Arena Tuesdays and Thursdays there: 7:30 - 8:30.

They have a blurb in the Fall Activities Guide - page 105

If you want cardio, you can't do better than dance. . well i guess you could with perhaps running up and down stairs or running hard - but the dancing is sneaky cuz you're having fun and you don't fully realize how tough it is, cuz you're concentrating on getting your moves down!!! that reminds me of that calorie burning guide you had posted a while back. . i wonder how dancing does in terms of calories burned per hour?

Tracy! You're so right, if you're gonna go with a piece of equipment - its got to be good quality. Have fun on the Health Walker!!! work it, girl.

Kevin said...


It's too bad we're so far away. I think you'd be a blast to hang out with, and I'd love to see you and Faith meet.

Your post was hilarious, because that's one side of women that society never talks about. I even remember someone once telling me, "women don't sweat, they glow." Whatever!!! Good for you for working hard and enjoying yourself. It sounds like your whole being is benefitting from working out through dance.
Just make sure to drink lots of water. :)


Lindsay said...

Oh yeah, women sweat... you should see me at work on a hot day! Now that's scary! Red face, hair escaping my ponytail and hanging in my face... they make our uniform shirts from an absorbent material for a reason! I'm not much of a dancer, either, well, except when I'm at home and I'm listening to the White Stripes with the kiddies... well, James is more of an Iggy Pop fan, but he likes the White Stripes too! Erica likes to dance... she turns around over and over on the spot like she's doing the hokey pokey! Good that you found a form of excercise that you find fun after all this time! Hey mom, do you remember that crazy video you used to have with the deep breathing techniques that you used to do when my friends were over?!

Kathryn said...

Hey Kev! thanx!!! I would love to hang meet you and Faith! We'd have lots of fun hanging out, nice, deep-end conversations! laughing. . too bad we're so far apart! :(

Whomever said "women don't sweat, they glow." is retarded!!!

I'm enjoying my dancing soooo much. . fantastic!

Linds. . . you're right, doing heavy house cleaning makes a person SWEAT! Its good that your uniforms 'breathe! Its so cute when James and Eri dance!!! I must listen to the White Stripes. . i really liked him on the Cold Mountain soundtrack. . would love to get something by the white stripes. they're on my CD wish list! Iggy Pop. . man, talk about sinewy!!!! that's guy's a lot moreso that Chuck Norris - who is a lot beefier than Iggy!

Denise said...

Here in the downtown eastside there is a public library/community centre. Membership fee's for the year are a whopping $1! Can't beat that price, even for an lack of pay warrior! One buck and you can use all the facilities. AMEN to that!

Kathryn said...

$1???? OH MY!!! that's fabulous!!!!

How are you doing there, Dee?!!!!


faith said...

HA HA...Kat!

I am trying to limit my time on line, and if I take my whole time reading one blog I don't get anywhere else! ...there are alot of wordy people in the blog world, not just you, so I just skim! But this was a long one.

Denise said...

Kat - you are hilarious!! Thank you for your encouragement and prayer...and I will definitely continue interceeding for you - and will have my friends do so as well. Love you!
I will send my regards to those you mentioned...and just so you know, Cherie is pregnant once again!! About 3 months along.

Kathryn said...

skim away, Faith! and i'll keep writing whoppers and we'll both do all right.

Thank you, Dee! You're a sweetie! love you too! Thanx for your prayers and for saying 'hello' for me to those I mentioned. I CAN'T BELIEVE that Cherie is pregnant again!!!!?? I wanna have a talk with that girl! she's just poppin' them out. . yikes!

Lindsay said...

You're kidding me. She's pregnant again?? Just how do they afford or have the room for all these children? Are the Whites secretly Catholic, or what? Ha ha...!

Kathryn said...

i dunno, Linds. . its baffling. But if they can swing it, hey. . Lorey has 4 kids, my friend Mona has 4 kids. . i knew women at this bible study i used to go to when you were young - they had 5 and 6 kids per family!!!

not for me. . imaging sending that many children to university?! cars. . how many drivers can one family have?! weddings to pay for!!! oh my!!!

they don't stay little 4ever!