just how sweaty can a woman get? my fitness journey

I remember the smell well, and believe me the smell of a man after a hockey game, well its just disgusting beyond words. Rob used to be in this league that got ice time late Tuesday nights. He loved it. When we were newlyweds i would go with him and sit in the stands, under the ancient heat lamps. I'd clap my rabbit fur mittens together and whoop and 'woo hoo' and otherwise verbally encourage him every time he skated past me! Oh, we are sooooo not newlyweds now!!! 24 years down the road!!! For one, he says his old bod is beyond playing hockey. . .i can relate! cuz i'm starting to feel the progress of time and its not always kind!! Not to mention that i wouldn't flippin' well sit in some freezing cold arena under the meager heat of those silly, little lamps now. Aren't i a hard case?!! I hate hockey, but I love Rob! So, if he still played it, he'd be on his own, which would suit both of us just fine. . cuz we are well beyond that 'joined at the hip' stage. *thank God!!!*

So, yes, back from memories of Rob's hockey stank and his salty kisses. . BLECH!
The sweatness this time, I'm afraid is all mine. I'm a bit genteel, i admit. . well sort of in the sense that I don't really like sweating. I have long tried to avoid it, but with my current penchant for expressing myself through dance, i am rapidly discovering that i am JUST as stinky as Rob used to be post hockey!!! Its grossin' me out!!!

As you may have already read here. . . I am faithfully doing my Afro-Brazilian dancing **i'm even thinking about 'capoeira'. . but that sounds a bit intense?!** and my belly dancing. These 2 DVDs have REALLY loosened me up and started me on the path of perspiration and enjoyment of fitness!!! yee haw!!! Imagine enjoying getting in shape!???
Believe me, fellow babies, i have tried it all!!! I once thought that Billy Blanks was the new fitness messiah. . . i don't think so any more. Sorry, he gets old after a while -- what with all his barking and counting in 8s, the only part i liked was the 'horse stance' cuz it made me feel all powerful!! and the tai chi, but i didn't know exactly what that did? I bought a Nordictrack ski machine. . BORING!! weeewuhweeewuh. . . arms and legs, arms and legs -- pulleys and fake skis going nowhere. . staring at walls. How excruciating. I bought an elliptical trainer -- ho hum. . . that thing was positively tedious. . . what was i thinking??Total Gym 100? Chuck Norris gave us displays of his sinewy, rawboned musculature - "You, too can sculpt your body with the Total Gym 100"poppycock!!! Its got all these stupid adjustments you have to make for every sequence you need to do. Why make things so difficult??! I went for the Tony Little Gazelle. . . you've gotta be joking!? The guy's on drugs, man. I could not take his fever pitch, machine gun instructional video dialogue!! *not to mention this, of all fitness equipment I have owned, is a WUSS machine that did absolutely nothing for me* These things all promise fun, but baby, they don't deliver!!! Rob and the girls would always roll their eyes at my phases. . all that equipment, which i would sell cuz i just found each and every piece of it fiendishly and excruciatingly boring. So, I vowed never to buy another piece of big equipment and I have kept my vow. I always thought it was the 'economical' thing to do. . . its cheaper than annual gym fees, true. But it lacks one thing: "the movitation of money". I have discovered that if you are not always paying for something, you won't do it! And my foray into increasing my dancing time and my motivation will bear that out, in the next paragraph or two.

I told myself "I'll just walk, that will be my fitness." Well, you know I could walk till Jesus comes back and the flub ain't disappearing. If I walked for hours every day maybe some of my chub would depart. . but the walking and walking just never did it; especially walking with Rob, cuz he's always in 'first gear'. . .and i have to 'gear down' in order to walk with him. He's a stroller, a lollygagging, laid back guy who has these l o n g legs. . but just trying to get him to move them. .

I've tried jogging. . . of all forms of fitness this is the one i DESPISE with every ounce of my being. I see people out running all the time and I wonder "Is there some mass hypnotism going on in this world?" Is every jogger being mesmerized into thinking this is enjoyable?? Come on, people!!! running, jogging. . . its just so gross. . it feels gross and its hard and it makes me feel like puking and my asthmatic lungs shut right off. . its so jarring and pounding and makes me feel horrendous. GAH. . .

So, dance. . . Its always lurked around in my fitness history. . . i've done some 'danceaerobics', "Dance Fit"live classes and videos, but for the most part, these were more 'aerobics' than dancing. . and they just weren't very fun for me. I've done hip hop on this cool, little cable TV show. . which disappeared from the air waves. . . boo hoo. I loved that! When I went to the gym i LOVED my 'cardio jam' class. . which unfortunately was cancelled. . our little Trina was a fantastic, hard core dance teacher. . who really inspired me to find enjoyment at last. . ahhhh. . what a great thing after trying everything under the sun. . I was enjoying hip hop, crumping, jazz. . .it was awesome.

So, now at this point in my journey I have decided to augment my current home fitness with some live classes, which i have to pay for and must faithfully attend in order to 'get my money's worth'! Nothing works except paying money!! Left to your own devices, you will alway bag off, chicken out, put off or wimp out.

This is where the title of this little ramble comes in. . . I ask it again. "Just how sweaty can a woman get?" Well, I'll tell ya! Can't stand my own smell when i lift up my arms -- clothes stuck to my skin, sliding off the matt when doing floor work, rivulets of water running down my extremities that i wonder "Where'd those come from? This is just a women's dance class!" Panting like a dog after every routine. . guzzling water like a stranded in the desert person, driving home with my back away from the seat, for fear of saturating the upholstery, wondering the whole time if i should even be sitting in the van, cuz i smell so bad!! That is how sweaty a woman can get. . but all grossness aside. . . Its only taken me forever to find joy in this fitness journey -- i'm giddily and ecstatically pleased that I finally did! I'm sleeping better. . i'm beginning to feel better inside and outside. .I'm meeting new people and I'm friggin' happy about it all!!!! Sweat is my new best friend - I don't avoid it now. . i appreciate it, but i also appreciate getting rid of it!! peeeyoo!!!