Tuesday, November 22, 2005

first attempt at a short entry!!!! wish me luck!

ah, me. . . can i do this? I can do it!!! People do short entries all the time! Rob is downstairs, playing guitar and singing his heart out. . . he sounds so much better than most of the ca ca i heard on the American Music Awards 2nite. . at least what we saw of it. . BLECH.

I've been feeling strange about buying things this week, even though i need them - i don't like spending money on myself. .I work from home, so i don't have much in the way of a 'wardrobe'. . . I guess i live pretty simply. . i have far fewer clothes than my husband does. In fact, his clothing takes up about 90% of our closet space!! *though he buys his clothing by the bag at Value Village!!* With a couple of formal events coming up this weekend - 2 dinner/dances in fact - I was panicking!! a trip to the mall was unavoidable. blah.

In the interests of brevity, I won't expand much on the mall experience, actually 2 mall experiences - the first trip with KK (my youngest daughter) and the second trip was tonight, when I dragged Rob along with me, cuz I hadn't seen him very much lately and this was my only free night before the big events. Both trips were surprisingly stress free, aside from enduring the nightmarish Sears women's clothing department!!! Some seriously uncool clothing in that store - nearly gave me a polyester rash. Rob and I don't shop for my stuff together, so he tells me where he's gonna be and then we're both happy. I like to speed shop. . which he appreciates.

I'm actually the perfect woman for Rob. . i don't wear jewelry aside from my wedding bands and my eternity ring. . i don't get manicures or pedicures, i don't want lots of things, i seldom go to malls, i don't always need to be talking and i'll take out the garbage and do the yard work!

I've had to purchase things this week. . an evening purse , an outfit, dress shoes, dress coat, scarf and gloves. . I felt bad. . . but you know, they're all beautiful and when i put them on i feel like a million bucks and i didn't have to spend a million bucks. . though it seemed that way, cuz i almost never buy so much at one time like that!! I've always got that mindset. . "other people don't have anything, they're homeless, they don't eat." etc, etc. . I just figured. . as long as i only buy what i need. . and not buy more than i need and as long as I consistently help others in need. . i think that's okay. yeah, that seems right.

So, i bought some clothing items and accessories! big whoop!!! Slow news day??!!!!! it would seem so.

I have been thinking so much in the way of jangled thoughts these days. . i can't seem to have enough coherency to put much into a blog. My dreams have been absolutely crazed. . like flipping brain channels all night long. . lions sleeping in bottom bunks, swimming pools turning suddenly into trenches and warfare, me getting shot while trying to protect a young child from the barrage of bullets, that's all that i can remember from last night, but every night has been bizarre. . i wake up and tell Rob and he just shakes his head and says "Honey, you've got some strange stuff going on." I feel weird as i check out the computer news headlines every day. . all this random stuff always there before my eyes. . 25 million people have been killed by AIDS since 1981. . avian flu in this country and that country, missing people, murdered people, suffering people. . governments shifting and turning. . sometimes there's just too much going on. . too much to take in. . Maybe that's why i have such a jumble in my head? It all seems surreal. . you know? It registers in my consciousness, but yet it doesn't penetrate through - i suppose because these things are happening so far from where i am.

Anyway, that was really mixed up, but possibly the shortest one i've written to date?

must get some sleep. . wonder what craziness will ensue once i get into that REM sleep?

4 comments:

Lindsay said...

I felt terrible even spending that money on the dress..I couldn't bring myself to buy the shoes, I thought about it and then bought Erica some much needed winter accessories instead! I never spend money on frivolities, because we can't really afford it at all, so when I do I have a really hard time with it. I'll think about all the things that we need more, or bills that need to be paid, etc. I swear, even if I won the jackpot I still wouldn't be a 'high maintenance' person!
About the world issues, they freak me out too. I find it that the older I get, the more the world scares me. I really have to stop watching the news and reading the papers so much, because I can't separate that stuff in my mind from my personal life. Like, when I hear about children being abducted or killed, I think 'that's going to happen to my kids' or with the Avian flu, I think 'we're all going to catch bird flu and die'. I really tend to obsess over bad news!

Kathryn said...

you need stuff too! its not like you had 50 dresses and you just wanted one more for the sake of having 1 more. . Its surprising how one can learn to live on next to nothing!!! you know dad and i were experts with that when i worked part time!!!

high maintenance is not a good way for anyone to be anyway. .

yeah, the world. . . it is a scary place. But you know, we can't go anticipating calamity. . if and when it comes to us we deal with it. I try not to watch too much of the news, but also striking a balance, watching some, so that i'm not ignorant to what's happening.

i think the only antidote to the worry that we can fall prey to is just not doing it. . shifting our focus to the good and wonderful parts of life. . It is overwhelming at times. .but we live with caution, common sense, being proactive with our safety and that of our children and being healthy, making good choices, like getting our flu shots, taking our vitamins, etc. .

Sherri Lavender said...

What's an eternity ring?

Kathryn said...

an eternity ring is traditionally given for the 10th anniversary. It is either completely or partially encircled with small diamonds.