Tuesday, September 04, 2007

the other night

the last few days i've been having trouble with a disc in my lower back on top of the disc issues in my neck. . so yeah, fun. . i've been walking like Quasimodo. . (is that how you spell his name?) It makes me feel old and delicate - hate that.
I can't work out till it it settles down. . . :( waaaaah!
When i don't work out, i can't sleep well.
My mind - i can't seem to shut it off.
Why can men close their eyes and fall into sleep mode right away?
this may not be true of all men. . but i've only ever slept with one. . and he's got this light switch sleep pattern - eyes closed = sleeping in 30 seconds
hmmmpf! i'm madly jealous of his ability!

so the other night, i was lying in bed after taking some Robaxacet. . which is a bit too wussy for me, i think. . . just doesn't seem to do much. *note to self - don't take that stuff any more*
I lie on one side, my back hurts.
i gingerly move to the other side -- hurts.
i decide to lie flat on my back - not good. . ouch.
so i lie there distracted by pain, thoughts going all over the place, listening to Rob sleep. .
glad he wasn't snoring.
A motorcycle drove up the hill. . did it even HAVE a muffler? grrrrr!!!!
My street is NOT every idiot motorcycle owner's personal nocturnal drag strip!!!

I saw the red numbers on the clock radio. . . . 1:40. . . 2:40. . i did lose count eventually but not for long.
4:00 a.m. i'm awake. . . i hear voices -- loud ones.
grrrrrrr. . .
a man and a woman were arguing. I was trying to get a mental fix on where they were.
At first i thought of my neighbours across the street , whose oldest daughter often puts on 'shows' in the dead of night for our benefit. . . nah, it was farther away.
The more i woke up, the more alarmed i became.
I couldn't hear their words, but their rage was scaring me. He seemed to be the aggressor, she seemed to be on the defense.
I really expected to hear a gunshot - it was that heated.
i'm laying there thinking: "What should i do? call the cops? should i? wake up Rob?. . . i don't know which house."
i started to pray for them. . . i didn't know what else to do. I was hoping they would settle down.
Soon the gaps in between the yelling jags got bigger. . . big enough for me to get back to sleep.
6 a.m. . . i'm awake again. . the same woman's voice is now coming closer and closer.
I got out of bed and looked out the window - she was walking briskly down the street, past my house - talking on her cell, her voice high and shaky as she described her ordeal.
I was mad - why couldn't she keep her voice down? People are trying to sleep!
but i felt bad as i heard the emotion in her voice as she described being interrogated by her boyfriend. She was so loud, now Rob was awake, wondering what was all the racket? I told him but I don't even remember what more we said about it - maybe nothing - too sleepy. .

ah, you just don't know, do you? what are people going through? You might hear the odd battle, see one, but mostly we all stay sealed in our individual units. . keeping to ourselves until we become suddenly aware of the presence and plight of others.


Tee said...

Beautiful last paragraph.

I love how you post in such detail about your thought process and changing emotions. Not enough people focus on that. You have such compassion and I love that :)

kathryn said...

hi Tee!!!! thank you, as always, for your affirming feedback. . it means a lot coming from you, because i know you're a clever writer.