Sunday, September 16, 2007

a distressing invitation. . .

the envelope arrived in the mail on Friday past. . .

GO GIRL - the magazine for women over 40!

It was addressed to ME!
Oh yes. . . i am now being included in the silver-haired demographic and i'm indignant (not to mention hypocritical as i keep covering my ever whitening hair).

The jazzy picture on the flyer showed a fitness-clothed woman with her mouth opened wide in a triumphant shout of "YES! I'M AGING AND I'M ECSTATIC, _________!" (expletive thoughtfully deleted)

I waved the offensive thing in front of Rob, "How can I be getting stuff like this?! I can't believe it!! Why do they call it 'Go Girl?' Why did i get this??!!!" The Master of Understatement said: "Because you're over 40."

pffffftttt. . . . (balloon deflating noise)

yeah. . i've got nothin' - he's absolutely right. I am. But that's not old. 45 is the new 35! *sigh* nothing is the new anything. . . its 21st century age-phobic propaganda. . so why am i wanting to buy into it?!

Today as i sat in the parking lot, waiting for Robbie to come out with our 'we're too lazy to cook' take-out meal, i caught myself watching elderly customers walking to and from their vehicles. They didn't look like the "Go Girl" magazine woman. That didn't make me feel so great. Why is this starting to bother me??? Maybe its my arthritis? Maybe its my grandmotherly status? maybe its because i feel like i'm turning into a "Grandpa Simpson" shaking my fist and yelling out "Shut up!" when loud vehicles pass my house? I felt odd as i contemplated my over reaction to a simple bulk mailing. But it all hit again when i got back home and picked up the local "Activities Guide" and noticed spanish classes. . sounded great, i might take them! I looked up the venue, it was one of the local seniors' centres!!!

it gets worse. . .

for ages 50 and up.
I thought to myself: "In 5 years i'll be able to join !!!!!!!!"

ay carumba!


Sherri Lavender said...

This blog totally made me laugh out loud! Thanks! I'll see you there in... 10 or 15 years? Ahhhhhh!

kathryn said...

ha ha!!! good! i had fun writing it, even though i am a bit distressed! 30 didn't bother me, 40 didn't. . . but i'm starting to feel weird as i contemplate retirement planning, joining "Grey" to save on my auto insurance and paying special attention to "Lakota" arthritis solution commercials on tv!

Joan M. Lavender said...

Kathy, you made me laugh too!

I say aging beats the alternative!

I choose aging.

kathryn said...

ha ha! Joan, you're probably having a great laugh at my distress, already having gone through this portion of the road. . . and looking pretty amazing at the same time!

Alexis said...

ya and Sherri thinks she is really funny saying in 10 or 15 years but her turn to will come, sometimes it is gracefully and just is there really slowly and kindly and then at other times with a huge bang.

Ya and in 10 to 15 we will be having a whole other set of aggravations to prepare Sherri for.


Now for Joan’s comment I can't agree with her more about today I choose the aging rather than the alternative, however I would like to do it every so gracefully and hardly without any notice. Ya right, as if that is going to happen to me one day you go to bed blonde then one day you wake up salt and pepper and the next totally white. One day you go to bed with no wrinkles and then the next botox is looking like a great choose, and so forth, But Kath ya are right about one thing our friend has gone through a portion and she is showing us what we have to look forward to, NOT but on the other hand as you said she is still looking pretty amazing.

So personally speaking of coarse if I could only be half as good at my age, half as fit, half as healthy then I would have a better chance of making my 3 scores and 10.

Man it s..k to get old.

Tee said...

That magazine sounds weird! What an immature sounding title for a magazine aimed at women. I wonder if they did their research before creating it??

Anyway, I'm 28 and I sympathize. (Don't hit me! LOL.) Seriously, I feel old already. I hope I get over it so I don't have a mental break down at 30. I found a gray hair the other day. I think it's my first one. I wish it weren't such a big deal to me, but it is. :p

kathryn said...

oh, baby Tee. . i will not hit you cuz i might hurt my shoulder! BAH!!!

The assinine title of that thing. . saggy, old catchphrase - pleh. . you WOULD think they could come up with something a bit more appropriate or inspiring? I think something like "RADIANT WOMAN" might pull in more subscribers!