All kinds of things have been percolating down there, in my inner self. I've been hard pressed to attach words to them, this is the first time i've had time to myself to even try. I hope the words stick and that they match up? It's a rare thing to authentically match thoughts and words. This is one of those times when i sit at the computer with absolutely no idea of where to go, but I'll let myself go and see what happens.
I've been distressed these days watching the news, the world seems to be having seizures and they just don't seem to stop -- they start at one point and they shake the whole thing. There are so many points of origin and so much tumult. Those of us sucking on popsicles and listening to music feel strange, living so blithely in this continent while things are so convulsed elsewhere. We feel the rumblings and they give us pause. I can't reconcile it all in my mind and my heart. I feel odd.
The moon and sun stay their courses - bearing mute witness to it all. The stars appear nightly, on schedule. Everything here is as it should be. Trees are strong and vibrantly coloured. The sky looks the same. The soil is busy producing food for us. It all works, until i turn on the TV or the computer and I see twistedness and crumbling and naked grief, enraged crowds of people pumping their fists in the air - cut away to photogenic, well-dressed people who look me in the eye and in measured tones say words like: strike, launch, hit, dead, flee, retaliate -- until i can't stand it and i change the channel to something benign like the food network or the learning channel. . but somehow watching people bbq shrimp or have a makeover is something i can't seem to watch either and i turn it all off and i sit there, stunned.
When i burn my hand my entire body ceases to be about it's components. The wound throbs with urgency and insistence, bringing a sharp, singular focus to that damaged part -- my thoughts are all about it, my brain formulates a plan of treatment and the rest of my body complies and carries out the plan.
it's easy to tune things out. but easy isn't always best and easy doesn't heal.
You know, i'll think leave the other things in there for now. This seemed to be closest to the surface. Maybe now I can sort out the other stuff? it's not going anywhere.