Wednesday, April 05, 2006

great big sea

I miss the sound . I can't sleep tonight for thinking of it. . wusssssssshhhhhhh. . . . . . . . . wussssshhhhhhhhh. . . . . . like the ocean is breathing. . in and out, in and out. I was lying there in bed thinking of this. The briney taste on my lips and the sting in my eyes (okay, not so pleasant). I miss all that water. . As Rob and I both draped our arms over our floating mat and kicked our legs in lazy circles below us I remember the feeling of bobbing up and down on the swelling waves -- I said to him: "You know, I feel like a baby." and he gave me the raised brow look. . and i said: "Yes, just like a baby in the womb, floating in warm water, moving when its mother moves." Maybe that seems weird. . but it didn't to me. It was so relaxing. . i kept sighing out the winter until there were no winter sighs left, only "this is great" sighs. When we had enough of the mat, we just swam and I felt even more like this as I put my head back, hugged my knees to my chest and floated . . . almost in disbelief that one day i could be in my little house in Canada, then the next I could be playing waterbaby .

I did keep thinking though of aquatic beasties as i cut swaths back and forth out to the white buoy line, or across to the floating trampoline (BIG FUN!!!). I figured, well if i just don't touch bottom and keep swimming i'll be okay? strange, not entirely logical, but it worked i guess? Sometimes i felt something brush past my foot or my leg. . which made my heart jump a bit and I would feel a mini surge of panic!!! Baby indeed!!! Rob seemed to share no such fears (I have enough for the both of us). I thought of sharks and fish -- I pictured seeing a fin. . i pictured Jaws, I could almost anticipate one of them latching onto my leg and pulling me under!!! But I kept telling myself to get a grip!!! I didn't even think of jellyfish until i got back home and my friend Moni mentioned that they could have been in there too!!! ahhhh!!! Now i'm kind of scared after the fact!!! The seaweed grossed me out if i happened to touch my foot down on the sea bed for even a second. . .. i would immediately withdraw it and try to swim until i could feel sand. . no undulating or slimy 'things'.

My inner dialogue went something like this: "Stop it! You're safe. Look at the other swimmers.. look at Rob way out there. . just enjoy this. SWIM!!! You love it!! " and sometimes like this: "Ooooh, the water's colder here, that means its deeper. . . . what's under me? AHHHHH I don't like that!!!" Yes, I am a complete contradiction -- floating like a contented baby one minute, and jittery with fear of the unknown the next!!! Its odd when you think about it. . we're not made to exist in the watery domain, but we visit it in body or with some kind of device or equipment. How great is that? I could have swum in the pool, but its so artificial - its not alive, it had no waves - it was too dull and safe - not many heart skipping moments to be had in there, unless maybe you saw something brown floating your way?!!!

At one point I suggested to Rob that we should sit close to the shore. . cuz i did that when i was a kid and I loved getting tossed around by the waves pounding the shoreline. Yeah. . . . we did this -- sat upon the sand at the water's edge. . it was a strong surf that day and did we ever get tossed around, dragged out with the pull of the tide, completely helpless. . laughing and acting like morons, getting sand in places you don't want sand!!! When suddenly one rogue wave pushed Rob back and dragged him forward, causing him to scrape his sunburned back along the gritty shore - at which point he kinda bellowed out in pain. He looked hilarious though, with his long legs going different directions!!! That was it for him! I gave up too, cuz its no fun being an idiot by yourself!

I do miss that rushing sound -- i slept like . . . . a BABY!! when we were there. It was that sound. . there's something very soothing about its rhythm. Very primeval, very natural, very calming. . Maybe if i got myself a CD 'ocean sounds' recording?! I think I will! Why don't you try it too? It will remind you of past trips to the sea!!! (which you know that you always miss when you have to leave). Do you have any sea memories you'd like to share? I'd love to hear them! Posted by Picasa


emma said...

oooh dont get me started! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the ocean (generally water in most of its forms). I'm going up to the ocean this weekend in fact... I think sometimes I take it forgranted that sometimes its a good thing to live in a small country... i'm only 40 mins from the ocean. Oh... did I mention I love the ocean??!

Kathryn said...

me too!!!!! I've always loved water. . and swimming in it. . Yay, you're going to the ocean soon!!! You ARE lucky to live so close by, Emma!!! Can i come visit?!! LOL!!!

Lindsay said...

Blast those dang rogue waves! They'll get you every time... I love the ocean - haven't seen it in years, but love it nevertheless. I remember going to Nova Scotia and parking by the cliffs and that big foghorn, where the waves were crashing against the surf, that was so beautiful. The jellyfish on the beach in PEI...the infamous whale watch tour in Massachussetts...I used to like to sit on the shore with my lower half in the ocean and let the waves try to suck me out and push me back much as I love it, it kind of scares me at the same time, it is massive, intensely powerful and absolutely unforgiving - so many things could go wrong while in it or on it! Not to mention the beasties...Swimming in the ocean - kind of impossible if you're close to shore ( I've tried) it's more like jumping and flopping around, maybe a bit of body surfing...that's so fun! One more memory - not realizing that the hotel pool in Myrtle Beach was filled with untreated ocean water and going under and opening my eyes without goggles! OWWWWWWW! Do you remember my eyes were as red as stoplights for like, 3 days? You think I would have noticed that the water was unusually green, but I didn't!

Kathryn said...

yes, we do have some cool family vacation memories of the ocean!!! you and your red eyes!!! the whale watch!!!!!! I felt better after i puked! that was frightening though. . what rough seas! do you remember Florida?! all the goopy blobs all over the beach?

emma said...

sure Kat, come visit any time! I'll even take you to the ocean!

Kathryn said...

oooh!!!! wouldn't that be fun?!!! bet there's some good beachcombing?

emma said...

beachcombing... say what now?

Tee said...

Oh man - I laughed and was relaxed at all the same time with your post. What a treat to read! I feel sad that you're back home because I totally understand that feeling. I am the same way about the ocean, the enjoyment, the fears - all of it. I really identified with everything you said - except I haven't ever been in waters that beautiful and tropical. Most of my memories are in the Atlantic.

When my little sister and I were kids, when we'd go to the beach, we'd lay on our stomachs right where the waves come in - facing towards shore. It was a game we called "Blast to the Past" and we would say it was taking us to different places in time, like a time machine. Like a little wave would take you to last Christmas, "Whoa! We're eating Christmas dinner now!" ... And then like a HUGE wave would knock us back to when "Grandma was a little girl" ---- ROFL. It sounds really retarded - it's making me laugh just typing about it.

We're going to the Outer Banks in June. The waiting is hard and now you just made me all the more "itchy" to get there.

Kathryn said...

Tee -- you are the coolest! You and I are so similar!!!

I love that game you and your sis played with the 'time machine' waves!!! LOL!!!! You always make me smile.

Kathryn said...

Emma! beachcoming -- searching around the shore or in the water for shells, rocks, cool stuff!

Anonymous said...

it looks so beautiful... u mad me want to go the beach too!
nice blog
hane a nice day

Kathryn said...

hey, G! thanx very much for visiting! I think we all want to go to the beach right now! its very cold and rainy here today. . blech!

i'll stop by your blog too!