Feels like i sit on this pendulum that swings widely from angst to revelation and back again, over and over. I don't like the back again part. Who wants to go back, when there's forward waiting? Why don't I jump off at revelation and stay? I think I'm getting there and I become somehow assured that the years have been working their 'growing up magic' on me, then I make a misstep, a gaffe, and feel like an awkward 10-year-old who knows nothing of wisdom and everything about being foolish and i learn from realizing I have lots to learn about people, about life.